Lovers' Ultimate Sex Hack: Karezza

Happy loversKarezza side effects may include more energy and a healthier libido

Not long ago, there was a brief publicity flurry about a venerable, but little known, approach to sex called "karezza" (pronounced ka-RET-za). ABC ran a news story and karezza articles showed up from Argentina to India. The ladies of The View even grappled with it. A karezza subreddit gained steam, and Germany gave birth to a new karezza website.

A new, independent documentary on internet porn's effects

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fMRI machine used to study porn users' brainsis now underway. Watch clips and read all about the film here: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/rewired-how-pornography-affects-the-human-brain. The makers want to keep the film independent, so please commit to contribute if you can. (No contribution is final unless $35K goal is met).

Pair Bonding 101: Beware Novelty-As-Aphrodisiac

How will you fill your pair-bonder “hole?”

Prairie volesIn recent years, scientists have been studying a fascinating mammal in greater depth: the prairie vole. There are many closely related vole species, but some species mate for life while others don't form pair bonds at all (like most mammals).

The prairie vole belongs to that curious 3 percent of "socially monogamous" mammal species, which includes humans. They pair up, usually for their short lives, sometimes with a bit of extra-pair coupling on the side ("cheating"). Again, like humans.

Kinsey Institute Moves Beyond the Study of Sex: Now It’s Love

Sue Carter, Director of the Kinsey InstituteSome authors speculate about "the healing power of love" in romance novels. C. Sue Carter, the director since November of the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction, at Indiana University, explains it in molecular-biology journals.

As a pioneer in the field of behavioral neuroendocrinology, she has studied the roles of hormonal processes in how humans act and feel, including in relation to desire and love. She says her four decades of studies convinced her that it makes no sense to view sexuality in isolation from other aspects of human sentience.She reasons: "The same neural substrates that regulate sexual behavior regulate social bonds, regulate how we feel the emotional systems of our body. So, even if you wanted to separate them, it would not be biologically possible."

To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This

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Couple gazing at each otherNew York Times, January 11, 2015 - More than 20 years ago, the psychologist Arthur Aron succeeded in making two strangers fall in love in his laboratory. Last summer, I applied his technique in my own life, which is how I found myself standing on a bridge at midnight, staring into a man’s eyes for exactly four minutes.

Comparing Neo-Daoism with Karezza

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Taoist loversTaoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy by Mantak Chia (with Michael Winn) was my first introduction to the wisdom of making love without striving for orgasm. This book made a big impression on me and I am very grateful to its authors. Chia, a neo-Taoist master, teaches men another way to manage their sexual energy, as well as the weakness in humanity's current habits. His book greatly expanded my understanding of my role as a lover, helping me to become a safer lover.

However, even before I stumbled upon the ancient account of Taoist lovemaking in the work ascribed to the famous Taoist sage, Laozi (or "Lao Tzu"), I realized that there was an inherent inconsistency in Chia’s teachings.

The Lazy Way to Stay in Love

Discover the Magic of Bonding Behaviors

Exotic loversWhile waiting for a concert to begin at our local county fair, my husband and I checked out a reptile exhibit that included an animal trainer with a live alligator resting calmly on his lap. As we stroked the gator, I asked the trainer why it was so tame. “I pet it daily. If I didn’t, it would quickly be wild again, and wouldn’t allow this,” he explained. I was surprised. Only months earlier I had begun to grasp the power of bonding behaviors (skin-to-skin contact, gentle stroking and so forth) to evoke the desire to bond without our having to do anything more.

What Can Chimps Teach the Church About Sex?

hug sculptureCurious about why a pope condemned karezza, I recently waded through the late Archbishop Exner's The Amplexus Reservatus (The Reserved Embrace). It traced some eye-opening Catholic doctrine about the purpose of marriage, much of which dates back to Church father Augustine of Hippo (b. 354 CE). He's well known for his prayer, "Grant me chastity and continence...but not yet!"

Science

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Marriage dreamsHuman behavior varies a lot. As compared with other primates, we're heavily influenced by culture, religion, family upbringing, and so forth. As a consequence, it's logical to conclude that our fitful monogamy is purely culturally induced and not instinctual. (On the other hand, we readily seem to accept that promiscuous tendencies are wired into our brains.) In fact, we are programmed to pair bond—just as we're programmed to add notches to our belts.

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