So, as of 3 o clock today, I have gone four days without p/m. Not bad, but I was hoping to have gone more before school started.

I attended my first day of post-univeristy college this morning at nine (so, I had only gone three days and eighteen hours without p/m for my first day. LOL at how specific i am.)

I'm glad that everyone here is able to bare their souls in ways that are very difficult for most people. It's refreshing to read posts about people who have gone a long time without porn/masturbation/orgasm. For me this process is going to take awhile. There are no quick fixes or silver bullets. It requires persistence, willingness and a faith in the knowledge that if we can make it past a certain point it *will* get easier. I'm on day one again just like everyone else.

Been brooding over the fact that my ex (son's mom) is trying to get under my skin via text. Basically she's trying to pawn my son off on me, and since I have relatives in town she feels that she can pawn him off on them. Without consideration for the fact that I did off work around 11 Sunday night, so I the next day watched him from 7ish to noon. Then day after 7:30am to 12ish. So she tried pushing my buttons by typing in all caps to rudely ask me when I'm going to watch him. So, I told her I'd let her know if my schedule changes.

One of the things I've read on this website is that some have found journaling to be an important part of their recovery. I'm wondering if anyone would be willing to expand on this. What kind of journaling seemed to help? What were the things you wrote about?

Well, this is really odd for me. I can't stay asleep. Now, I thought it was that my work was causing me to wake up and just ruminate on things left undone and tasks which seem insurmountable. But, it has been a perfect storm of sorts. My first girlfriend of ten years ago, who I proposed to has emailed me out of the blue and let on to some degree that the guy that I though would maybe be for her has gotten married. Fine, no big deal. Kindov. I have not talked to her in ages.

Hardly slept last night. Was feeling like sex when we went to bed, but I could see that Mrs IM1969 was really tired and I didn't even try, which I may have done in the past. Went to sleep thinking about sex then woke up at 12.30 wide awake. Toothache, indigestion, pipes and squirrels(?) on the roof!
The urge for some release, knowing that would help me sleep was pretty big. I Didnt sleep for hours,I read then I listened to about 3 episodes of "This American Life"
This morning MrsIM has gone off to work and I'm on the laptop ready to work. Training later for me today.

Had about of month of back to normal masturbation and porn and orgasm, and my brain is drained again. i havent been reading the forums and kinda gave up. right now its 1am, last time i mop'ed was 9/1/2010 12:55AM. I want to start up again (hopefully) today. I'm gonna start blogging again daily or at least every other day. I feel so empty, and like something is missing everyday of my life even if everything else seems to be going fine.
Ok my attempt is as follows:
14 Days no masturbation, orgasm or porn.

I've completed 8 weeks of abstinence (sort of). I haven't looked at any porn but I had two orgasms. One was at the hands of a Thai massage girl last Thursday night and the other was self-inflicted on Sunday night. When I actually did come after 7 weeks...well let's just say I think she's probably still cleaning her ceiling. Holy shit!

it really freaks me out how the most beautiful sweetest most innocent looking girls are also the most "slutty" the most "bad" the most explicit, the raunchiest, and they only go out with the baddest of men. In fact only the baddest of men have these women. I really wonder if any beautiful woman out there is really worth dating or girlfriend material. And almost if not ALL women are beauitufl. It's hard to believe she would be faithful in any way unless you were bad.

I dont like the whole associating sexuality with "dirty" concepts' Bad, Naughty, horny, taboo, lust, raunchy.