Unfortunately, I've been masturbating to porn again. First, I masturbated to sexual fantasy, then more intense sexual fantasy, and finally porn. This sucks.

I'm not starting off at square one though. I didn't subscribe to the site, just used the preview page. No videos. Still my vitality is diminished, I'm on edge and unhappy at the moment.

Fortunately, I've gone over 3.5 months without porn and know how to disengage and ignore limbic signals/impulses. I just have to do it. Starting today.

Today or tomorrow will be 60 days since I last looked at porn, masturbated, or orgasmed (not counting dreams). I've experienced many positive changes and have achieved an important goal. Now that I've re sensitized my brain, I'll reflect on the last 60 days.

This is going to be a quick check in.

Today is ~ 40 days w/o porn, masturbation, or orgasm. March 18th was my start date. I've had 5 or 6 dreams so far with porn in them. I've always jerked off or tried to in my dreams. I wake up relieved that I'm still on the train. After I have a porn dream, the next day I'm much more tempted to give in the urge. I haven't. So I've had around 5 or 6 days which have been tough. The rest have been relatively easy.

Tomorrow will be 3 weeks since I last masturbated. I've only had one tough day that followed a dream where I was looking at porn that I thought I had erased. The glimpse of porn made me really horny in my dream but I couldn't masturbate in time before the scene changed. In reality, I did erase the porn! Anyway, I got through that day and it's been fairly smooth sailing so far.