thelongrun's blog

Hey folks,
Been too busy to blog lately. Things in life are good. No relapse since before Christmas - I guess I should count the days but working so hard today I'm not even sure what today is!
The kicker to get me back in here was my goddess almost breaking up with me. We were really rocky and not talking for about a week which was aweful but I'm happy to report, that we are back on the path.
Decided to walk a little while longer together and see where it goes.

Hi folks,
I'm back. Need to be.
Noticing I left of "clean and sober" and that many of you that knew me then might think that I am "cured." Wrong. I have relapsed.
It probably started about 6 months after meeting a my new "godess" and has continued on and off since then. Nothing like the daily torture of porn addiction it was (hours and hours of searching for that "right" scene to get me off.) But it happens about once per week or two I guess.

I can't believe it's been so long since I posted.
I'm not dead! I am porn free - but actually I think the correct term for me would be masturbation free. The porn is just the delivery vehicle. The beer delivering the alcohol.
I am no longer a groaning, lonely, embarrassed, self-loathing idiot who hides at night to masturbate.
Sure I stay up to late. I think I'm wired that way. I wake up tired. I wish I could kick that.
But I have loads more energy and focus. WAY more self confidence and time to do the things I want to do.
The walking around in a daze is just a distant memory.

It's so exciting to see the number of folks on this group grow so quickly! I hope you all find the help and community I have found here. It works.
I have been out of blogging regularly because my summer job is busy and the fall has not let up. As many of you know, I have taken a new job which requires a 6 month move to a new city away from my kids. Tough one for me but I believe it will be good in the long run.

Hi all!
Yes, it has been a very long time (has it really been 5 months since my last post!!!???)

I have been a busy boy and have way too much to catch you up on, especially not in the short time I have right now.

I just wanted to pop in and tell everyone that I have officially gone 1 year without masturbation!!!!!!!

It doesn't even enter my mind anymore. I never thought that would be the case.

Hey all!
Wow. Here I am in new territory and I must admit I'm at a loss as to what and how to share. I have not really been able to sit back and absorb the new relationship in my life as it is so new and has been so long!

So glad to read your post Hotspring. So inspiring and hopeful. Sounds like a real turning of the corner for you. I hope you continue to share. Funny how we are all at different points on this "orgasmic celibacy" journey and have so much to share with each other. Those further along can give hope and a guidepost for those earlier in the process, and those going through the start and stop of the early stages of this path give those of us further along insight and a reminder of what it is they have passed by.

OK. Long weekend. 7 AM to Midnight 2 nights in a row. Lots of action, stress, and people organizing. I ran a retreat for 40 middle schoolers and their leaders and was only 1/4 of the leadership team but they are even more scattered than me so I was working hard. I also had to play guitar for the group - I love playing guitar, but being the only guitarist is tough. Thankfully I had a friend help song lead, but it was very stressful (but skill and confidence building too!)

Well Marnia has thrown down the gauntlet and challenged us to share the things we found most helpful, or essential to our recovery. I love the idea of having a quick resource for those struggling or new folks to the site. A way for all of us to help others.

As I think about what made the difference for me, many things come to mind.

I keep coming back to -

This was a response to Richard's blog. A chance to revisit some of the twists in my recovery.

Richard -
Glad to see you blogging yourself instead of just responding to others ramblings, er sharing!! LOL