The Fonz's blog

Hey yall,

So I've officially gone 2 days since my last relapse. Man, this addiction has been kicking my ass lately.

But I've re-thought some of my strategies, and I'm feeling a bit more confident that I can have a comeback.

Hey yall.

So, bad news. I relapsed last night. It was stupid. Sure, there were the cues, there were flashbacks, but, in the end, all it was was me deciding that it would be temporarily fun to do so. An addict engaging in immature addict behaviour

It's night time now, and my fam is watching Survivor as I sit in the back of the room listening to songs on my headphones. I feel pretty much like I've got today in the bag.

Hey yall,

So I just thought I'd come on and share some thoughts because it's been a few days. Also, because I wanted to verbalize some thoughts to myself (I'm thinking of this as more of a journal entry), and maybe get feedback (since I will be rambling, don't feel the need to read it and comment, but if you want to, that's too).

Warning: This is the hangover talking, so if it comes off as cynical and defeatist, that's why. I'll be better in a couple days.

So, basically, I went nine days, and then relapsed this morning, and I started wondering, "Should I give up hope of getting this porn addiction thing under control?" Like, maybe it's my fate to just be able to cut back to, say, once a week. Although I totally don't want that to be the case (I want to be able to cut porn out of the equation entirely, or at least have a respectable reboot period), maybe that's how it has to be.

Responses:

@jake: Yikes. Glad you can relate to the bad influences. Not too long ago, I was at my bad influence's place, and we were just innocently listening to tunes. Then he was like, "Oh, hey, did you know the one girl in this band had a sex tape leak?" I was like, "Nope." And he was like, "I'll find it. Give me a sec." I refused to watch, saying that it would ruin my opinion of her, haha. So I got out of it, but at that moment, I was like, "OK, I need some more mature friends."

Update:

So I've officially gone eight days without PM.

...May contain cues in the form of descriptive words...

Hey yall,

So I had me a relapse a couple days ago (well, two back to back sessions one night, then one the next morning).

I was gonna wait longer to return, but I felt compelled to write and share what I learned...maybe just for me, so that I can summarize to myself what I learned.

Hey yall,

So it's been about 24 hours since my last relapse. Before that, I managed six days without PM.

I decided to give myself 24 hours to get some perspective before I came on Reuniting and reported my relapse. I have a bad habit of coming on Reuniting and posting almost immediately after a relapse, which makes for some pretty panicked posts.

Hey, everyone,

So, as of now, I've officially gone 5 days without PM.

After my last relapse, I said I was going to disappear from here until Wednesday. And now it's Wednesday, so here I am, haha.

That last relapse was tough. But I feel like I'm starting to recover from it.

Hey yall,

On day 0. I will have gone 24 hours by 7 o clock tonight. Relapsed two days in a row. The first day was a genuine mishap that I could learn from. I learned that I can't do this without computer protection. And yesterday was just laziness.

Hey all,

I hate the fact that, every time I've checked in on reuniting lately, I've been doing bad. You all probably forget what I'm like with my swagger. But, anyway, I decided to come back to this forum yet again because I've been struggling, and I could use some help. Whenever I relapse, I often go on an online search for help for internet porn, and I always end up realizing that this is the best fit for me.

Science-based, supportive, informative, non-guilt-inducing.