Submitted by IM1969 on Fri, 2012-02-10 01:25
Just a couple of times in the last 3/4 days I have had a very faint familiar feeling pass through. It didn't linger, I didn't dwell and it was very weak but it made me think that I should still keep in my mind that I do not want to go there again. I don't think it was a real risk but it was interesting. I suppose you hear about smokers still getting the urge years after giving up and at the oddest times. Also addictions are linked to places and people and they can be triggers - old scripts!
Submitted by IM1969 on Wed, 2012-02-08 02:52
I had a revelation today whilst reading something about addictions. So I have quit webcamming and PMO and this has changed my life massively. I have had acid reflux (it's when the valve at the top of your stomach doesn't do a good job of keeping your stomach acid in and it can rise back up your oesophagus - it's pretty unpleasant) I have been on tablets from the docs for this for about a year or more and I was gaining weight slowly, even on a crazy low calorie diet.
Submitted by IM1969 on Tue, 2012-02-07 01:24
Yesterday I was industrious nearly all day - I was rarely distracted by anything else. I am working on focusing on one thing at a time and it really helps. I didn't have much time for myself but I didn't mind at all and I went to bed tired and content.
I think we have so much that we can be trying to be better at and now that I feel more in control of my 'palette' - sex, food etc. I would like to work on some other areas too that I am not so happy with.
Submitted by IM1969 on Mon, 2012-02-06 01:58
Have had a mellow weekend - just doing the things I enjoy. I haven't been ecstatically happy or fed up, just ok. (don't get me wrong, the time with my wife just 'being' makes me very, very content and at one with the world)
Weight loss going well. Kicking the reflux medication and dieting has meant 7lbs of fat lost in 2 weeks. A few mood swings and a bit of sleeplessness but worth putting up with.
Submitted by IM1969 on Thu, 2012-02-02 10:37
Today I think I really came to terms with something, not directly related to my fight with this addiction but very relevant. When you're making progress but things are getting repetitive and a bit dull, don't change things around, don't add something new - just keep going and take comfort in the fact you are making progress and that nothing worthwhile comes easily and will always take longer than you imagine.
Submitted by IM1969 on Wed, 2012-02-01 02:31
We both knew that we needed to spend sometime getting closer, I hadn't said so as I stopped being 'pushy' about sex sometime ago (about 106 days but whose counting!) but my wife did start to talk about how we need to to keep close and keep the 'loving' mood between us.
I am really happy about all this.
Submitted by IM1969 on Mon, 2012-01-30 00:36
There has been a bit of tension between my wife and I over the last few days. Nothing bad, just a few niggles. I can see how this happens now when we haven't made love for more than a week. The good thing is I can also see how to fix it and I also don't feel like I need to release this energy any other way as I know where it will lead. Bonding ahead I think!
Submitted by IM1969 on Fri, 2012-01-27 02:10
It was great to read what people took the time to write yesterday - it felt like my birthday or something!
Nothing major to report. Except I have lost my 
a couple of times recently and it's not really like me. I didn't see it coming and it just happened. I am very lucky that I can control most of the amount of stress in my life otherwise I would be more concerned.
Meditating is getting a bit better, but just a bit, I do enjoy trying though.
Submitted by IM1969 on Thu, 2012-01-26 01:15
Well I have been looking forward to this day for a while. It means I am now into 3 figures which in my mind makes me further down the line. Probably quite irrational but I like it. Milestones can sometimes keep us going. I remember when I was just trying to do one day
Still aware of where this addiction can lead and this spurs me on to not got back to that way of life again.
I have achieved so much in this 100 days that I would not have achieved otherwise. Just got to keep it going.
Submitted by IM1969 on Wed, 2012-01-25 02:14
Every day is a school day as they say.
Meditation went better, still not very good but a baby step forward.
Lost a bit more weight - and realised that the acid reflux medication, as well as the weight gain, was making it hard for me to sleep, concentrate and affected my vision! (bit scary as they are not strong tablets which you might expect to cause such changes)
Not missing coffee too much really. But I had got to a point with it all where I felt I had enough of it all. Feel good for it too.
I read a couple of things that made me think a lot -
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