jake83's blog

Well hello everyone, I'm writing on here to inform everyone that 2-3 years ago I was a heavy PMO addict. And to shed light on everyone here and hopefully help others beat their addiction. I'm going to share my story with you on how I beat it but before I begin, I must thank marnia and gary for if it wasn't for them, I to a large extent wouldn't be the same person I am today.

I'd like to start off by saying this forum has helped me realize tremendously that we are not living live for the next sexual encounter.

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Well it's been a while since I've posted again, so heres where I'm at. Currently I'm going strong again with nice momentum.
Lately urges have been extremely low, I have changed to a vegitarian diet and since then its all been easy.
last night and 4 nights ago i had porn like sex dreams. I was able to wake up and realize i had had the dream and got up and took a walk.

K so today marks day 7 of no MO, if you've read my blogs P isn't in the picture at all anymore. so I don't mention it or try to put energy into that.
K so something interesting actually happened to me the other day, A friend I haven't hung out with in a while, goes with me to a restaurant, and one of his friends starts talking to him. my friend goes, later on I'll tell you a story about him. well anyways I wound up finding out the story during their conversation. basically he did adult film videos and he was talking about it to my friend about some of his experiences and whatever.

Well it's been a wYle since the last time I posted on here, quite a bit happened.
Today unfortunately I just MO'ed. So 61 1/2 days went by without any touching, I'm a bit upset at myself for falling prey to MO again. but I guess I'll have to just learn and fix the things I screwed up in this journey.

- my diet. As of yesterday I was still eating meat, milk, and eggs. I didn't eat them often, but if it was offered to me I'd eat it.
- overeating, or over-induldging in junk food. I ate way too much garbage the last couple of nights during late night hours, woke up feeling shitty,

Well today is 9/1/2011, last time I masturbated was 7/17/2011, today is day 46 of no PMO. this is my final post on this site and I'll go into detail in a minute of why. First off I'd like to thank everybody on this forum for being there and supporting me throughout this journey since a little over a year ago. It's been a hell of a ride.

There was just an argument between me and gary in a post yesterday and I think it's important to understand a couple of points.

Well today marks day 40 of no PMO for me, and being strictly celibate (physically). In the past, I've had made miniscule mistakes or flat out masturbated without orgasm during some journies but this time not even close. Looking back on these 40 days, it's gone by pretty fast.

Well today was quite interesting, I felt very mentally on point today, I rarely engaged in any purposefully sexual thoughts. the problem didn't lie in the brain, but rather with nature. Like everything was fine and all of a sudden I get a sudden on rush in the brain of sexual and masturbation thoughts rooting from what seemed like a natures call telling me (to release). So first I was reading some articles on celibacy in my room, then I watched some shows with my mom, then I become very tired but restless at the same time. It was very weird.

Hmm, life has been real nice lately, I seem to always have the right words no matter what I say, people seem to be naturally drawn to me. and things are going pretty well. as far as abstaining goes, mentally I been dripping with sex-thoughts. = no good. physically I never touch myself 34 days touchless, nice!

Well Today I was low on energy which was a bit of a shocker to me because lately everyday I've been very high in energy.
I still have not had 1 wet dream in my life, and but the last 2 nights I thought I did, (checked my pants) no go. haha!

Alrighty then so today is Day 28 no PMO. This journey has been easier then every other journey of the past and I'd like to say physically this is perfect abstinance, not once have I touched myself in a physically stimulating way of the course of the last 28 days and I'm very proud of myself. My goals/ideas/ mind are moving towards clarity and calmness. But I'm still nowhere near brahmacharyan level. which is control of all the senses indefinately. control of sexual organs & brain and speech. I'm not at a point where I can speak of nothing sexual and put my mind into higher channels.