Karezza Korner's blog

Explaining Karezza to a date or partner

Submitted by Karezza Korner on

(emerson) I know this is difficult, but it's a romantic fantasy that people are going to "get" this up front. However, once you practice this sex with them, even if they are not, the magic happens. This is my preferred recommendation these days. Open mindedness happens when you are the example. Expecting to find someone already into this is like impossible. But someone receptive...well that's different.
I was watching a show from the UK called Fleabag, episode 2, and it actually addresses Karezza and lovemaking versus "fucking"...first time I've seen someone in a show get this right and address the issue. Point is, though, that you first meet someone, then you have sex, and you don't orgasm, and they get intrigued, and things evolve. That's how I see it. Anything else is doomed.

The worst way to explain it to a man is to say "it's like sex but you don't have an orgasm." Who wants that???? I also don't like the "affectionate gentle intercourse" angle, as that never seemed appealing when I was on the dopamine train. But if you say "you prolong sex, have lots of sexual intercourse, and delay your ejaculation for a long time and sometimes don't even bother ejaculating so you are always ready...and you get this amazing sensitivity and pleasure throughout your whole body" that can sell guys. Or at least the right guys.

What source materials about karezza help?

Submitted by Karezza Korner on

"Karezza" is a term coined over a century ago, and several old books discuss it. It can be interesting and enlightening to read what others had to say about it, or similar practices. Click the "WISDOM tab at the top of the page and explore some of the links in the lefthand margin.

Here's one visitor's "Recommended Reading" list:

(thegentlevegan) Let me say briefly which books and articles about Karezza I have been reading that have been ultimately helpful for our experience:

Surprise orgasms

Submitted by Karezza Korner on

I have been practicing a version of karezza / western tantra for about 6 months now, usually going about 3 weeks between orgasms. (some vuluntary, some involuntary) There have been many ebbs and flows so far, sometimes it seems as if I'm drowning in sexual desire, othertimes seems this practice lowers my libido, but overall the results have been very positive for my partner and I - more balanced moods and more warmth and more happiness and very long beuaitufl love making sessions.

Karezza and condoms

Submitted by Karezza Korner on

Karezza works best with female condoms. They can be ordered here: http://www.undercovercondoms.com/

Forum members give condom advice:

(Rachel) My lover and I used the female condoms early in our relationship and I think they would work well for karezza~~we made inserting it part of the fun (I let him do it as he has really long fingers)~~you will probably laugh at first because they are so different, but they work well and no worries about whether you have an erection or not!

What helps while solo?

Submitted by Karezza Korner on

(clarity) You mentioned several months ago that one of the toughest times for you back then was at night, in bed, right before falling asleep. That was the hardest time for me at first, too. Then I started to just go with it, and go ahead and fantasize, but keep it calm. Sometimes basically a karezza fantasy, sometimes a full on energy circulation meditation. Now that it's been over a year, it's where my mind goes automatically. I don't have to try anymore, I can just relax and feel like I am indulging myself, yet I stay safely calm.

Is there a way to minimize the hangover if you experience one?

Submitted by Karezza Korner on

Time is the surest method. Women often seem to need longer than men to feel back in balance (if they notice a connection at all), but members of both sexes have occasionally reported recovery times of up to 15 days. Some people feel the effects for a shorter time, of course. And most people have both good and bad days during the cycle.

Can karezza help heal women's sexual wounds?

Submitted by Karezza Korner on

(blissed) My wife lies flat on her back on our bed. I usually start by massaging her legs from thigh to ankle. I can tell how effective I am by the sounds she makes as she lets go of tension. This is time well-spent as the more deeply relaxed she is, the better the Karezza. Then, from the foot of the bed, I slowly move forward on my hands and knees, over her body, until our chests are matched up. I hold the bulk of my own weight on my knees and lower arms, but press into her to the degree that's pleasant for both of us.

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