Patientfaith07's blog

im not sure what the exact count of days its been, but i know its getting closer to 2 months(60 days) now...without orgasm or masturbation, even looking at porn...a change in my enviroment (i moved out of the house and left the computer desk and chair i would masturbate in at home), that helped considerably..also support from friends has helped immensely, the emotions and feelings have just been pouring out lately...i've grown close to an amazing girl who i care for deeply and shes very supportive in helping me stay pure for her and it has strengthened our relationship...it doesn't seem as

Day Zero.

I succumbed to the addiction last night. More of a binge, 3 times in 12 hours while watching porn...

but i realized i probably set myself up for failure from the get go. the day counting need to stop. i suggest that to everyone. its not a goal to be reached, its about overcoming, enduring. One day at a time.

Need to not dwell on it as much...

im moving my computer out of the bedroom. heavily limiting my time on it now...

anytime i feel anything, run away, distraction...hobby

Day 19.

I seem to be pushing the boundaries closer and closer to the cliff. Last night i went to the store with all intention of relapsing and being fine with it. When i went to check out i just got the overwhelming fear and doubt about relapse and i basically put everything i was going to buy down and pretty much ran out of the store. One day at a time.

Day 18, I woke up today and didn't feel any strong urges. Starting to get bored with the day while waiting for answers from job applications and the urge to p/m/o is increasing while i'm not distracting myself. Last night while hanging out with friends i was told by a good friend i've known for many years that she's so happy where i am in my life and how much i've changed. she does not know about my p/m/o...it was a nice feeling hearing that, gives me strength to keep up the fight...Going to finish scraping paint, then off to work. Will update later.

Day 17. Today i have been feeling okay, urges still there but more or less just bored and lazy...which causes me to think about porn, and with it being just a click away. Will update later tonight, going horseback riding and then to church time with good friends. will update tonight with how my mood has changed throughout the day.

Already Posted this on the forums but thought i'd refresh and edit a few mistakes...

I'm 21 yr old male from Virginia...been struggling for 9 years...for the last 5 i've been trying to stop with many relapses