Submitted by Present on Mon, 2010-04-19 12:26
It's been an up and down few weeks. Stuff has been very stormy in my personal life, but despite a few "near misses" on the porn front, I haven't had a full-blown relapse.
Interestingly, I came close today, but looking at some of the stuff I used to masturbate to, just doesn't arouse interest any more.
I find normal 'sexy' images of women to be erotic, more so than before - I had definitely become desensitised, that seems to be rebalancing slowly.
Submitted by Present on Thu, 2010-04-01 12:25
No urge to orgasm today... still some slight pull to look at porn sites on the PC, but it's force of habit driven rather than desire. Not particularly difficult to resist, just fill my time with something else!
Not much else to report!
Submitted by Present on Wed, 2010-03-31 12:11
Had sleep deprived night due to child, and had trouble getting to sleep.
Tried the masturbation without orgasm thing last night, which was quite comforting (watching our child and learning about sleep associations, this is probably one I still have from infancy), with no fantasy, and drifted off (without orgasm).
Submitted by Present on Tue, 2010-03-30 12:47
Well, day 3 started with the need to orgasm, whilst I was half asleep. Woke up in considerable physical discomfort!
So I masturbated, and use fantasy a little to get things going, but it was gently sensual rather than pornographic in content. Felt no urge to turn up the volume mentally, was just enjoying taking my time.
Submitted by Present on Mon, 2010-03-29 10:54
2nd day, so far so good.
I feel mentally better - more 'aligned', due the decision I've made.
Makes me wonder how much emotional energy this sex thing was taking up.
I've set a reward for myself at the end of the 30 days (not going to say what as that would be giving too much away, but it's something fun). I feel excited that having given up so many other things that were part of the 'old me', I'm ready to give this one up, something that I've been holding onto and hiding from myself for so long.
Submitted by Present on Sun, 2010-03-28 12:54
(copied across from my forum post to keep it one place!)
I came across this site after doing a search for "porn changes brain chemistry" and finding the great articles on Dopamine. I first heard the concept as an aside in a personal development video I was watching, and decided to investigate further.
I've been using porn for a long time (nearly 20 years).
At one stage I looked at it a lot, although more recently it's been a masturbation aid. I look at it for enough time to 'get the job done', and then go back to what I was doing.
My reasons for this experiment are:
