richardsnewsong's blog

Looking back on my recovery dating back to June 2006, it seems like an eternity to me. This season of recovery has taught me the value of each precious day I am given and I have been blessing with many profound spiritual lessons and miracles.

I remember early in recovery thinking, "give up sex? Abstinence? I would rather be dead than abstinent!"

Today is my travel day, Sedona to Phoenix and then homeward bound to Oregon.

The bittersweet irony is how everything will seem different, including but most of all, me, and how I relate, respond and react to my wife, my kids, my circumstance, my spirituality, my approach to life.

In my case, those changes are likely a very good thing.

It seems a trite cliche in recovery: Don't quit 5 minutes before the miracle. Now, more than ever, I am finding a profound truth in that hopeful statement.

My experience here in Sedona has been rich, intense, and full of spiritual insight.

Just a short post from Sedona, where I am here for an intensive one week healing experience to clear some deep things that sabotage my desire for long term recovery.

Recovery enters an entire new dimension once abstinance is achieved and healing thought process and inner child trauma can take you some interesting places.

I am ready.

This week is to include hypnotherapy, massage, step work, intuitive counseling, yoga, mediation and so much more.

2009 is already proving to be a very good year as I build upon the progress I made in 2008.

In my season of solitude and separation - I have received consistent divine guidance from the Oracle here and now, an I Ching web site. The most recent guidance reinforces that I remain exactly where I need to be for right now.

Some details are not revealed but I trust they will be at the right time.

1 changing to 53

1. Sunrise

Line 1:
A submerged dragon is of no use.

There is potential, but the time is not ripe. The idea is not yet ready to be carried out.

God runs a costly school for many of His most precious lessons are learned through tears - not in the exhilaration of the mountain top experiences that we cherish but in the Valley of the Shadow of Death where it seems that every next step takes us closer to destruction.

My visit to Los Angeles was full of wonderful connections of old and new friends alike. It was hard to say goodbye but I left with the knowledge that I am welcome to come visit again or even move in for an extended stay. It warmed my heart to know that some of my oldest friends are still some of my dearest friends after all these years.

There is a beach on the malibu coast that used to be private but now has public access. It's called El Matador.

I rode the waves there yesterday and it was glorious. I sobbed tears of joy to be fully alive and bobbing like a cork in my beloved ocean, temporarily free from my battles in life.

Last night, at an amazing neighborhood/school reunion - I enjoyed endless oxytocin hugs from women I had not seen in forever as we shared our stories of life and love.

Nice to sneak in a quick look at our community and see my on line friends still in touch and sharing.

God is doing for me what I cannot do for myself.

I can't wait for this last test today to be done. I feel like I have been shirking my responsibilities as CFO (Chief Fun Officer) of ReUniting. I leave for my old home town of Los Angeles tomorrow for a week of fun, relaxation and visiting with friends, old and new. I will also get to see an international myeloma specialist to discuss my most recent rest results.