skeptic's blog

Today marks about 8 for me without m/o. That is the longest stretch since last spring when my wife was expecting (see old posts). The fun and challenging part this time is that my wife's libido is recovering, so we are having more chemistry. I was also overcoming work related burnout last year. This is quite a post-holiday rebound, when we were stretched out and inattentive.

I don't know if I buy the idea of a "hangover" following most orgasms especially one that lasts two weeks. If this were the case, then 99% of men would be in a perpetual state of being hungover. I relate more to the idea of having "withdrawls" when attempting to abstain from orgasms for several or more days following orgasm frequency. Many men seem to right about being hypersexual 4-5 days after an orgasm and the settling down.

I will admit that I go through periodic episodes of abstaining from the mighty O. A few times a year, I will go on a pretty good streak. I will end up in a better mood, more energetic, more focused, and have more fun in my marriage. I do not because I think orgasms are bad. I don't at all feel like I am trying to overcome any addiction. At most, I feel more disciplined. Eventually, other aspects of my life need attention and I move on to other things.

We have been juggling work, life, children, and a lot of other things for a long time. I feel best when I am close to my, feel physically fit, and focused. Last spring, I went over 50 days without an orgasm, which was a way of coming off a tremendous amount of stress and burnout and lead into a new baby. Since then, we have continued to juggle things, and slowly I feel like we are starting meander back into the right direction. We'll see.

I am a HORRIBLE morning person, and I often have insomnia and other sleep issues at night. My wife has more of a tendency to fall asleep earlier, which can leave me awake with too much time on my hands. From about 8:00 p.m. to sometimes as late as 3:00 a.m., I can feel too tired to do anything productive, but too wired to go to sleep. This is particularly hard raising small children. This can cause imbalance in all aspects of my life. Sometimes, I go through serial stints where I can feel quite balanced, but then I can fall off the wagon quite easily. I wish I weren't a night owl.

I went about 50+ days without an O earlier in the year. At first my sex drive was very intense, and then it mellowed toward the end. After my first O, I was able to go over a week without an O a few times, but my sex drive seemed to stay a little low. Since that time, I have not gone more than a few days without an O, which often relieves stress. I'd like to be able to get back on track, avoid O's, and have a better sex drive. Any tips?

From about the start of February to the start of April, my habits were as good as they have been in years, culminating in running a 10k a few weeks ago. At the end of March, our little (and third and last) bundle of joy arrived, and everyone is doing great. But most of my habits have dropped under the stress and fatigue. I have been extremely tired over the last several days, and sometimes indulge to try to "perk" myself up---whether it is bad MB or eating or other habits. Even before I fell off the wagon, I could feel a drop in my sex drive.

About a week ago, I was feeling kind of moody. I had been working hard, and shifting a lot of habits (eating, sleeping, exercise, for e.g.) at once is not easy. My wife and I were bickering a little, and she asked me if I wanted to have an "O". "Would it make you feel better?" she asked. I had to be honest, and let her know that I expected that it would provide some relief, but it would be short lived. I didn't want cave into temptation just because I was feeling moody. It didn't seem right, and I didn't think I would like the outcome.

It's been a full six weeks since my last "O". I never would have thought I would have lasted this long or learned some of the things I have. I tried some Yoga last night and that seemed to help.

I have a hard time not feeling some occassional frustration. My wife feels very uncomfortable and is looking forward to giving birth very soon. Opportunities for close, physical contact have been limited, though I have been able to give some foot rubs. Some solo exercises may help too.

I hear this is an awful movie but I have never seen it. In any event, I have made it this long with no intercourse or orgasm and my relationship has improved. At this point, my wife does not feel good and has a low sex drive. I don't want to try to have an intense experience right now, and we have mutually agreed to stay with this for at least a few more weeks.