trumpet12345's blog

I was in the middle of writing transcripts and such for a youtube page to spread the message on porn and such. I met a gal though, and that totally got derailed . I hang out with her alot, and between that and college stuff, and making dinner for my mom I got all tied up. Not to mention the free time I usually am writing poetry for the gal.

I am thinking of starting a youtube page to help spread the word of not only this site and the science behind it, but also throw out my theories on the issues of the lack of love in the world relating to such issues. Dealing with issues such as the sexual revolution being misguided and too guided by instinct instead of knowledge, and how the generation before was as equally blind to what was needed to be love and how it helped push such rebellion later.

Let me start with this. I cannot exactly figure out how I developed this fantasy, but somewhere along the lines my ultimate sexual fantasy to live out was serving a loving woman whether I would be a knight or a "pet". I kept it at bay as I knew it could get me into trouble, and get into situations where aroused would be in a place I wouldn't want to be into when the illusion would vanish.

Yep, thought life was better then when I was simply a bit bored and content. Forgot the fact it just becomes a distraction regardless of my lack of fallout with indulging. So I am going back to balance. I certainly feel no less loving either way, but it is nice to not think about sex.

The perfect relationship I desired though when completely uninterested in orgasm, was one without sex at all. Honestly I would have died a happy man if I found a gal who just wanted to cuddle for hours with no sexual intent involved.

As a single person I always pondered what it was like to be finally rid of mother nature's nagging of go find a female NOW. I experienced that, and I must say it wasn't what I expected. I had a balance, and certainly contentment with what I had, but that was it. Everything was fine, bland, plenty of energy, happy, but bored. I had all the same work load, 40 hour a week job, with cooking and cleaning and maintaining several properties. I did it all, still happy, but just missing that extra push that I had. I didn't crave it, but I did miss it.

It can be easy to lost in the escape that is pornography, but as all you know the sobering reality strikes you in the face worse than board with a nail in it. Well this post isn't about a relapse, but an example of how things could be worse for anyone out there on a dopamine low and feeling out of it.

As you grow stronger day by day, and always learn from your mistakes, you are on your way. The path through this jungle may seem clear in beginning, but one soon learns of the pitfalls and snakes holding forbidden apples. In the depths it may seem dark, but your strength can light the fire to illuminate the darkness. Embody the belief that you are the warrior, and the harpies shall not effect you in the slightest. Bold and full of courage you know one day you will see the bright blue sky and be free.

I don't beat myself up over mistakes that just happen. I don't count days with masturbation, for I'm single and that just reminds me of the whole thing. I never though got fallout from masturbation alone, and the porn problem didn't get really bad until I got into extreme porn. Then major dopamine problems seemed to arise.