Can Somebody help me!! what am I doing wrong??

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on
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OK, So, I feel as If I am going to quit everything under the roof this time.. Since I began this journey, I have quit drinking alcohol, I have recently quit soda, energy drinks, sweets, and now fast food (to an extent).. I don't drink tea or coffee, I am going to start waking up at 8 am every morning, I said fuck the sleeping position crap, and I have decided to sleep how I wanna :) .. The only websites I visit are REUNITING.info, and I check my email from time to time. The only think I am not proud of is sticking to my routines.. I always seem to fall back on energy drinks, because I get so depressed when I am abstaining from PMO. I don't know what else it is I am doing wrong. I am also trying to learn how to stop edging.. but it is extremely hard not to, especially if there is a women around who wants me to do it!!!

So I am left with this!!?? I keep relapsing on P, I want to beat this for good, but I don't know what else to dooo!! does anyone have any suggestions on how to beat this?? or how to better my chances?? because I am running out of ideas!! is anyone else having any progress when they quit sugary things like Energy Drinks and such?? I feel like I am driving myself CRAZY!!!! Somebody give me some ray of hope!!! am I doing this the right way???!! what am I doing wrong?!?!? and why can't I kick this PMO/ Energy drink habbit?? what am I doing wrong :( ?!

Comments

Step by step

There was a man who smoked from age 10 till 60. And the doctors said he had to quit smoking. And he did. After three months he got an infarction (he is still alive, everything came quite good after all of it). So the main thing don't try to walk in miles - walk in meters, you'll make more steps, but you won't be torn in a half.

And why a women wants that you edge? If she is close enough - explain her all the situation and she'll help you.

For beating porn for good - use K-9 with password which you don't know. Or every time you want to relapse. Write here - "I am relapsing now. I am doing this, because...... ".

And in the end: if you are pushing out the things you don't like, make sure you'll put the things you like - because our mind doesn't like emptiness. If you quit PM, more time is available and more energy - think of the way to express elsewhere the energy.

And most important - don't over think. It is a challenge but I see that you are doing what I am doing and what is causing problems in my life - THINKING TOO MUCH.

When you think simple, the life is simple. When it is simple - you are happy.

Yea

The women who is my friend she knows about my situation, and she tries to resist, and so do I!!.. but the thing iss, my urges get the best of me, and we winde up doing it.. I have held back for the most part.. and are u saying with the whole smoking example, that I should stick to what I quit i.e energy drinks, soda and etc.. and things will workout eventually??

Honestly, from what little I

Honestly, from what little I know of breaking habits, you absolutely cannot knock all your habits out at once. Not only that, you can't go cold turkey on some habits either, you will relapse. You can't also form multiple new habits successfully at once, it takes discipline and dedication that few people have. One small step at a time!

When I first tried to quit porn, I simultaneously quit hubbly smoking, social drinking, coffee, video-gaming, masturbating and orgasms. I also tried forming the habits of 6AM wakeups, routinely cleaning my room and music collection, going outside into the sun each day, working on my car, etc. I was successful for 2 months, and most if not all of those habits have returned to their full form, and my new habits all failed to take root.

One thing at a time man, one thing at a time. Today I've started my second attempt at quitting porn, and that is the only damn thing I'm going to focus on. You can't destroy all your habit patterns with a sledgehammer, turns out you need a toothpick and some patience. Out of all your habits, focus on PMO like you have. As for energy drinks, I don't have any experience with that. I haven't gone through your blogs (yet) but if you haven't already done so, setup OpenDNS and K-9 webfilter, and setup K9 so it shuts off your internet connection at the times you've identified to be the most likely times to watch porn. Personally I'd rather indulge in energy drinks than porn!

I agree , very noble to quit

I agree , very noble to quit all those habits but maybe just a bit too much at once. Do a good job of beating one of these things then use that success to help the next.

Focus on your success one day at a time.

You can do it, just don't overwhelm yourself.

Use positive activities, exercise, walking , nature etc. to use some of the time or opportunity that the other habits eat up.

Be well
fcjl8

Hey eoa, Sorry to hear

Hey eoa,

Sorry to hear you're having a rough time. Those energy drinks are evil, I consider them to be this generations version of cigarettes, who even knows what's in em?

I read something once that may help in a bit. It basically said that people often want freedom FROM something (PMO and energy drinks in this case). However wanting freedom FROM something keeps you concentrated on the things you DON'T want. It's basically walking backwards looking back at the thing you want to get away from.

It continued saying that the best recovery comes from wanting freedom FOR something ( healthy lifestyle, satisfying relationships?). This keeps your focus away from the bad and on the positive. now you're walking forwards with your eyes on the prize that you want, the unwanted habits will then slowly slip out of your head, forgotten.

I guess that's kind of abstract but maybe it helps, what are your reasons for quiting, what do you want in place of your current addictions?

My reasons

I always have a stronger urge to masturbate/watch P after I binge on sodas, energy drinks, etc.. (junk foods).. I wanna quit these things because most of them also clutter my mind, and I know these things are bad for my health.. I can't abstain from PMO and drink them at the same time.. It drives me crazy.. I will make my efforts on quitting that crap, and fight PMO at the same time.. I know its not recommended, but I think I have gone threw this crap to much, and now I realize why I keep relapsing.. It just gets so hard to stick to that regimen, because the more I abstain from PMO, the sadder and more depressed I get, and I turn to things like soda, energy drinks, fast food.. to give me some form of happiness and completeness to make me feel whole again.. Sometimes I get so fed up with all the shrinkage, n all the bs that comes with this, I turn to it.. and everytime I do, I get a little happy, and then I become miserable..

*sigh*

Depression is not unusual during withdrawal.

In your case, listening to what you've said for months, it seems clear that the energy drinks have to go at the same time as the PMO.

Would your friend be willing to sleep with you as a cuddle buddy for a couple of months...no sex? That alone would help regulate your mood.

Yea

me n her usually cuddle, whenever I have my composer right.. meaning whenever my mind isn't cluttered.. I can control my urges.. I just have to keep trying different things, and see what works best :)