2.8.12
It's been a while since I've posted on here. I've been hesitant because I was feeling like I kept barely getting my head above water and then I kept going right back under. I would get clean for a few days and fall back into my addiction. So I needed some time to sort out internally and get some time under my belt to feel like I was valid. Today is day sixteen no PMOF, and I've been feeling good and strong. I'm in a major flat line, but it's fine with me. I have really been focusing on other things, mainly school, settling into my new place, and running. Schools been going well and I've been feeling more social and sure of myself than I have in years. I try and talk to three new people a day and I've gotten some phone numbers and tentative dates with a few really beautiful women. I haven't hit any severe with drawl yet, but if I do I'm ready for it. One thing that may seem so apparent to everyone already but wasn't to me is this. I'm not my thought, I may have a brief urge to look etc... but that doesn't mean I need to. In the past I would be swung into the thick of it with the smallest urge or thought, and I'm realising that they don't need to define me and my actions. Or better said I'm learning to not let my urges for PMOF define my actions.
Anyway, I hope everyone is doing well and staying strong. Good energy goes out to all you guys.