my name is Andre and I am from Germany. I stumbled upon karezza about two years ago when I first read Cupid's Poisened Arrow. I put the book and topic aside and only came back to it when my relationship started to crumble. Now my wife and I have even come to a point where we consider splitting up or at least live in seperate locations. Another option would be to give karezza a chance. We already had some sessions with pleasurable outcomes (a gentle tenderness has found its way back into our relationship). But I am still not sure if karezza is the way for us to go and I would like to ask you some questions to clear up my doubts.
Here they are:
1. From what I've read people seem to get very affectionate to each other when practicing karezza, which I think is a wonderful thing. But what about negative emotional attachement, like a disproportional fear of losing each other, not being able to distinguish between your own and your partner's feelings, strong clinging and consequent negative behaviours like jealousy, the wish to control, not being open to what the person is/becomes etc.? (This has been a major issue for us.) Can this be healed or at least be positively influenced by karezza? Or can negative attachements even get worse with the growing affection karezza produces?
2. If karezza has a positive influence on negative emotional attachement and behaviours, then how exactly does this happen? What is your personal experience? Is there a shift from negative to positive attachement? Is there a feeling or heightened ability of being more open to what your partner is? May clinging and true affection even eliminate each other?
3. Although karezza sounds like a very spiritual and meditative experience I only read one or two reports on how it influences your daily meditation sittings and the overall grade of awareness in other non-karezza, non-relationship related activities. In the past, meditative awareness and the commitments/obligations that came with our marriage have had some kind of antagonistic relationship. Does this change with karezza? Did you get more aware and do you feel more rooted in the present moment since you started karezza?
Thank you all very much in advance for helping me out here. And thanks to Marnia and Gary for their great work and their spreading the word.
With kind regards from Germany.