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| Habit to Harmony Forum |
Several years ago, men began showing up in my website's forum struggling to end compulsive porn use. Gradually, they worked out that a period of abstinence often helps reboot their brains. (Initially, their sexual arousal is so tightly wired to porn images and flashbacks that foregoing orgasm for a time can speed re-wiring and stave off binges).
Discussions naturally arose about whether frequent ejaculation is needed for health reasons. Surprisingly, there is no consensus on the answer. There is, however, a wide gap between popular lore and the views of most reproductive health experts.
Interestingly, men who cut back often remark on changes: more energy, better concentration, interacting with potential mates more easily, greater gains from workouts, stronger erections, healthy dietary changes, return to earlier sexual tastes, more optimism, seeing women differently—even deeper voices. As with other aspects of life, it seems that finding a middle ground pays. Yet when it comes to ejaculation, few people are talking about what might constitute a healthy middle ground.
In his book on American campus life, I Am Charlotte Simmons, Tom Wolfe remarked that, "Many boys spoke openly about how they masturbated at least once every day, as if this were some sort of prudent maintenance of the psychosexual system." More recently, British authorities began a campaign to encourage kids to masturbate daily: "An Orgasm A Day Keeps the Doctor Away." They offered no evidence that daily masturbation is beneficial apart from a claim that it improves cardiovascular health. (So does walking up stairs.)
The absence of a reliable consensus could be a problem. Having heard that frequent ejaculation is vital to good health, many men now fear to cut back on ejaculation—even for a time, even when they have sound reasons. They may resort to risky sexual enhancement drugs or more intense sexual stimuli to increase/maintain ejaculation frequency. Some also mistake withdrawal discomfort (when rebooting) as harm from avoiding ejaculation, rather than recognizing it as an unavoidable phase in the return to balance.
Intercourse is good for us, but the belief that the benefits are coming from ejaculation may be changing the focus of some men's sex lives away from real partners. After all, today's extreme sexual stimuli can certainly produce more intense (and frequent, though not more satisfying) ejaculations than most partnered sex (because partners aren't always cooperative). Today's stimuli also spare users the bother of mastering interpersonal skills.
This may not be such a good thing. Primates are a funny bunch. Even the sexy bonobos and their cousins the macaque monkeys frequently don't ejaculate when they engage in sexual activity. It seems primates need sex for the social bonds that soothe their brains—rather than mere ejaculation. In fact, comforting contact may be even more vital for pair-bonding brains like ours. In any case, too much sexual stimulation can actually leave people less contented.
One thing is certain: It takes a lot of effort to uncover objective information about ejaculation and health. Said one young man,
On the men's sites that I frequent, the number one rationalization for masturbation is that it is good for the prostate. All you have to do is tell a guy that jerking off is good for his health and he's a lifer. Does frequent masturbation really prevent prostate cancer?
Curious, my husband and I began digging around for the answer. We learned that the medical profession considers ejaculation frequency irrelevant as far as prostate cancer rates are concerned. That's right, ejaculation frequency is not a risk factor for the disease. Research studies on the matter have gone both ways. The most recent study we saw found that men who had masturbated very frequently had slightly higher rates of prostate cancer later in life. However, only one set of results makes compelling headlines, so it's not surprising that most men have only heard about research that went the other way. (Incidentally, communicable disease is a more likely prostate-cancer culprit than ejaculation frequency.)
Said another guy,
There are so many contradictory beliefs regarding masturbation (orgasm) out there. Such as, ‘Masturbation creates more testosterone;' ‘If you masturbate, you won't act so desperate (Something About Mary):' and ‘If you don't masturbate you will build up excess testosterone, and lose your hair.'
Upon investigation, we learned that ejaculation is not, in fact, an important influence on testosterone levels (although normal testosterone levels support sexual performance). Testosterone is slightly higher when abstaining from orgasm. And it does rise slightly during sexual activity—before dropping back down to normal. (Orgasmic frequency and plasma testosterone levels in normal human males) It also spikes and then drops back around day 7 after ejaculation, indicating that orgasm triggers a subtle hormonal cycle that lasts at least a week.
That said, men often notice very real changes in libido and energy over the days and weeks following ejaculation. These shifts probably have more to do with changes in key neurochemicals and nerve cell receptors in the brain's reward circuitry than they do with serum testosterone levels.
What is the ideal ejaculation frequency?
A forum member recently asked his urologist this very question. The doctor said that, in the absence of the "irritation of frequent masturbation," a man's wet dream interval would be a good guide. He advised his patient to wait until he had two wet dreams, without disrupting the cycle by climax. The resulting interval was suggested as a good guide for the sake of reproductive health, whatever one's age.
The doctor explained that glands are not muscles, and do not need exercise. Glands secrete fluids all on their own (e.g., wet dreams), and manual intervention is simply not needed. Therefore, if a man cares to take a time-out, he can rest assured that his body will meet his ejaculation needs (if any) without his intervention. The forum member added:
Since I have not had a wet dream for a decade or more (always masturbated) I asked the doctor, "What if I don't have a wet dream?" His reply was, "Well then, you no longer need to ejaculate."
Is there such thing as too frequent ejaculation? The classic view of sexologists is that climax is self-regulating: No one can ever ejaculate too much, because he'll simply stop when his body has had enough.
Unfortunately, it looks like not all men automatically stop when their body's needs are met; ejaculation becomes compulsive. (Just as one third of Americans don't automatically stop eating and become obese.) For example, the online Onania support group is primarily made up of men who describe their masturbation as compulsive, and acknowledge its negative effects. The group even coined the term "copulatory impotence" for their resulting inability to ejaculate with real partners. Clearly, their bodies did not self-regulate with regard to masturbation. The good news is that this phenomenon is likely reversible.

As we investigated, we discovered research showing that too much ejaculation can cause lingering physiological changes. When men engaged in a "ten-day depletion experience," ejaculating an average of 2.4 times per day, their sperm output remained below pre-depletion levels for more than five months. It's quite possible that there are other effects occurring in the brain, which haven't been uncovered yet. The research hasn't been done.
The absence of comprehensive information may be causing unnecessary suffering. For example, hundreds of men are now recording severe symptoms after ejaculation in the Post-orgasmic Illness Syndrome forum. Not long ago, a psychiatrist noted that the neurochemical changes after orgasm are sometimes associated with depression and anxiety in otherwise emotionally healthy patients. Is too much ejaculation dysregulating brains?
Where can men find sound advice? What would a healthy middle ground look like?
Comments
Wow!
Interesting post!
All life is sorrowful and the world is an ever burning fire, so enjoy the stately dance of the mystic bliss beyond pain, for that is at the heart of every mythic rite.
Perhaps a good guide
I plan on trying the cycle suggested in Marnia's post. I plan to abstain from orgasm (but not bonding sexual activity) until the first wet dream, then continue this way until the next. I will TRY to keep the group updated as to the results, but since it could take a very long time, I freely admit to the potential of trailing off....
Anyone else feel this is a good idea? (Hint: I see this as a pretty ambitious undertaking and I would be very grateful for support of the group....thanks in advance.)
David
VERY ambitious!
You're a better man than I. Have wet dreams been a part of your life prior to this? I don't know how this would be quantified equivalently for a woman.
What constitutes a female wet dream?
*if I were that one guy I'd get a different urologist*
Interestingly,
another friend in another part of the country asked *his* urologist this question years ago...and got the same answer.
Go for it!
Since I've never had a wet dream, I'd be afraid my body would tell me I never need them again.
But it would be interesting to see what you discover.
Thanks for input
I appreciate the input and encouragement. To answer the question from Lolita: I have had a wet dream before, but long ago. The wet dream occured during a period of recovery from a serious athletic injury. However, for the last ten years or so I have not had one--I have always masturbated or had sex at least once a week.
Therefore, I truly have no idea how long this interval is going to be. So as Cole points out, it IS possible that my body will indicate that I don't really need to ejaculate again. I am not afraid of that possibility, it sort of intrigues me.
The link from Lolita was a good one. It fascinates me that we humans deep down know some things that contemporary science wishes we ignore.
Like Marnia says, consistency will be key. Perhaps I may go six months without ejaculation and I will lose patience with the wet dream interval experiment. At least I will then know that I would need NO MORE than two ejaculations a year.
I remember reading that the effects from male ejaculation can be thought of as a two week long "estrangement" period--or "vacation"--from a spouse. As such, a good guide might be how much "vacation time" from loving your spouse would she be willing to grant? If someone looks at this like working for a company, then 2-4 weeks of vacation usually suffice. As such, this method yields a recommendation of one or two ejaculations per year.
For sure, I am going to go as far as I can with the wet dream intervals and see what that does.
Please stay tuned!
David
From another forum member
We did have some discussion on another forum concerning ejaculation frequency for prostate health, etc. as my wife and I had some concerns about this as her dad had prostate cancer - and most of what you read leads one to believe that regularly "emptying the tank" could be beneficial in reducing cancer risk. I conducted as much research as I could find on the subject and there is no definitive answer either way. I believe there is a lack of sufficient numbers of non - ejaculatory men to perform a viable test. Not bragging here but I have always been a prodigious (high volume) ejaculator and what initially put me on the path to become non - ejaculatory was the fact my semen upset the delicate environmental balance of my wife's vagina and triggered seemingly endless yeast infections. So when life deals you a lemon you find a way to make lemonaid out of it - and I stopped ejaculating inside her - which eventually led to not ejaculating at all once we began to see the benefits. I relate this to illustrate that I have literally been from one extreme to the other - and currently approaching three years without ejaculation. From my own meandering experience my take is this is much like any other bodily function and the body reacts to meet the demand - what ever the demand might be - and we are all highly individualistic as far as what works for us and what our needs are. If one ejaculates frequently the body ramps up production, and if one goes for extended periods without then the lymphatic system removes waste. Automatically. For me at least I do not think any "drying up" occurs as I do "leak" the clear pre-ejaculatory fluid during play and since we play at the edge sometimes I do get that very "full" congested feeling if play is extended for long periods of time. But the body quickly processes out the "excess" to restore equilibrium. So all the "plumbing" appears to be working just fine in spite of a long period without ejaculating. I have found that my arousal cycle is very much in harmony with my lovely wife and when she is out of commission during menstruation my libido slows down to match hers where as during peak ovulation I "rise" to the occasion and take full advantage of her increase in "demand" so we just naturally flow together in the most delicious way. (http://www.reuniting.info/node/3772#comment-25679)
No need to clean out the pipes
Shortly before I found this site, I asked my urologist if ejaculation helped prevent prostate cancer. He stated unequivocally that he knew of no medical reason for a man to ejaculate. This was actually a bit of a relief to me, for I was "cleaning out the pipes" 3 or 4 times a week, partially because I thought it promoted good health. Since I have always slow to ejaculate, this was sometimes a lot of work, especially for my wife. So one less thing on the to-do list. A week or two later, I happened on Marnia's site which extolls the benefits of avoiding ejaculation. It was a one-two whammy for me than really changed my life and freed up a lot of time to pursue other pleasures - such as bonding and karezza
Ha ha!
Thanks for sharing. I'm always glad to hear doctors say this, because I love men and wouldn't want to contribute to harming them in any way.
I'll post the key insight on another thread or two, too.
Good point Marnia even though
you MAY have been slightly tongue-in-cheek, but I believe a spouse/girlfriend IS actually helping out by discouraging ejaculation in their partner.
There is a popular saying in the sub-culture of "male chastity play": It's only for his own good.
Suppose the myth of ejaculation necessity is finally busted. Imagine how the relationships could change for the better.
David
Actually,
I didn't have my tongue in my cheek. I fretted for years when I was first experimenting with Daoist lovemaking...wondering if it was safe for men, because I, too, was hearing the meme about frequent ejaculation being necessary for good health. So it's very comforting to hear doctors confirming that it isn't.
That said, I think frequent erections *are* good for health...and romance.
I never believed in trying to prevent men from ejaculation. How could I? I only believed in explaining the benefits and letting them choose to experiment, or not.