The Way of Yin and Yang

rom Daniel Reid's The Tao of Health, Sex, and Longevity

...By now, male readers must be wondering, 'How can there be pleasure in sex without ejaculation?'

Rainbow Girl: it is generally assumed that a man gains great pleasure from ejaculation. But when he learns the Tao of Yin and Yang, he will ejaculate less and less. Will this not diminish his pleasure as well?

Peng-Tze: Not at all! After ejaculating, a man feels tired, his ears buzz, his eyes get heavy, and he longs for sleep. He is thirsty and his limbs feel week and stiff. By ejaculating, he enjoys a brief moment of sensation but suffers long hours of weariness as a result. This is no true pleasure!

However, if a man regulates his ejaculations to an absolute minimum and retains his semen, his body will grow strong, his mind will clear, and his vision and hearing will improve. While a man must occasionally deny himself the fleeting sensation of ejaculation, his love for women will gently increase. He will feel as if could never get enough of her. Is that not the true and lasting pleasure of sex?

The last point is a particularly subtle and significant observation; a man who maintains consistently high levels of testosterone, sperm, semen and other male-essence by practicing ejaculation control will experience an overwhelming enhancement in his love and affection for his woman. He well also gain the capacity to act upon that loving urge over and over again.

Compare this with the adolescent attitude toward sex revealed in the best-selling book Everything You Ever Wanted to Know about Sex, written by the self-styled American sex expert David Rueben. He writes:

In eating, the first bite is tastiest, the first helping the most appetizing. The third helping of strawberry shortcake just doesn't taste as good as the first time around. The third copulation of the evening is more for the record books than the enjoyment of the participants.

Ruben writes from the point of view of a man who has already ejaculated twice and must now force himself to rise to the occasion once more, 'for the record books'. He doesn't even consider the feelings and point of view of the woman, for whom a third round is no effort whatsoever and who, like water slowly simmering over a fire, is still hot after the first two rounds. For a man who knows the Tao of Yin and Yang, there is always room for a 'third helping of strawberry shortcake'.

In Taoist lovemaking, the emphasis lies not on romantic love but rather on correct technique; therefore it's like a football game or cricket match; wanting to win is not enough- both teams have to be 'in shape', in practice, and know the rules of the game. This approach is well illustrated by the traditional Chinese literary analogy of the boudoir as a 'flowery battlefield'. But the Chinese image of sex as battle is not at all the same notion as the Western 'battle between the sexes'....

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