Feng Shui: Five Elements of Love, Sex & Spirituality
by Diana Daffner
In the beginning, when love is new, romance, courting and conquest are aphrodisiacs, stimulants that increase our appetite for sexual union. Eventually the chase ends, hearts are won, and lifetime pledges are made. The happy couple says "I do" and strolls off into the sunset together, destined to be lovers forever.
So what happens? The newness fades, the passion flees. Where does it go? Does it get mortgaged along with the house? Disposed with the diapers.
Years ago, Mary, age 49, shyly told her family doctor that she had lost interest in having sex with her husband. She was told this was a natural event, that women eventually lose interest and that's just the way it is. For some women, she was told, it comes even earlier. Martin, back then, wanted to tell his doctor about his erectile difficulties, but was too embarrassed. And so, the couple, wanting to stay together, accepted the end of sex.
Today, Mary might be offered testosterone patches to fire up her lagging libido, and for Martin, there's the magic of Viagra…or Levitra … or Cialis.
Yes, times have changed, but is it really just a story of diminishing hormones and loss of blood flow? The popularity of these new biologically-based treatments attests to their effectiveness as sexual aids. Yet Mary and Martin, like all couples, continue to yearn for the fulfillment of a deeper intimacy. Reviving the mechanics of our sex life may help, but it does not fully address the hunger in our hearts.
We desire more than the climax of sexual release. We crave a connection with our partner's soul. We ache to embrace a love that lights up our eyes, that enlivens our very being.
More than one divorcee has stated, "the sex was great, but there was no intimacy." Without intimacy, sex is not lovemaking. Without lovemaking, hearts are empty. When sex is followed by emptiness, we know that something is missing....
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Why We Love
Anthropologist Helen Fisher says years of research have led her to believe that romantic love isn't simply about emotions, instead it is a drive like hunger that needs to be satisfied....[I]n her latest book Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love, Fisher explores why humans experience mood swings, sleeplessness, and obsession when they fall in love....
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