Sex and the Ego

Is it wise to teach karezza without also teaching about the need to work on our egos? asked someone. Yes. Karezza, or making love in a way that heals the emotional alienation between mates, is one of the most powerful ways to quiet the ego-or multiple egos as some traditions hold. With this approach, we do not battle our egos. Instead we gradually hear Spirit more clearly than ego. Some spiritual treatises insist that the path of sacred union can even lead to a qualitative shift and spiritual transcendence.

For those not familiar with the "ego-Spirit" model, the ego is the defensive, frightened part of us, which believes it is separate from the Divine. It desperately seeks to protect and aggrandize itself, and we regularly accumulate a lot of bad karma endeavoring to meet its objectives. At base, it is nothing more than a fearful projection outward of a sense of lack.

...Why does sex affect spiritual awareness? Because the mating urge is the means we adopt on this plane to ensure our recurring sense of lack-thereby dimming our spiritual perception. When we choose to unite with passion, it quickly leads to a drop in dopamine in the reward center in a primitive part of the brain known as the limbic system. A Course in Miracles explains that we believe that when we meet to love each other, it "diminishes" us. This feeling of weakness drives us apart from continued union with each other, "allowing but limited indulgences in "love," with intervals of hatred in between." We believe that we must separate from each other to rebuild our strength. This not only weakens our resolve to achieve communion; it causes us to fear love....

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