Sexologists of the Past

When we move on to a new partner, or add lover on the side, we increase the genetic variety of our children and improve our genes' chances of sailing into the future. As individuals and families, however, we suffer. Spiritual teachers of the past describe this painful phenomenon separating couples, and hint at a way around it: making love differently, without the emphasis on orgasm. In this article we're going to look at three such sexologists of the past: Lao Tzu, Jesus, and Alice Bunker Stockham, MD.

Lao Tzu was a Chinese Taoist master who lived approximately 2300 years ago. Many know him as the author of the Tao Te Ching, but he also wrote another, lesser-known book, the Hua Hu Ching. Part of it is about sex. Lao Tzu believed that a person's approach to sexuality is a sign of this level of evolution.

According to him, unevolved persons practice ordinary sexual intercourse. They place all of their attention on the sexual organs, and whatever energy is accumulated is summarily discharged. Lao Tzu taught that the result of following biology's command is that our subtle energies become dissipated and disordered. Orgasm is, in his words, a great backward leap.

Lao Tzu's language about disturbances in the subtle energies is about as close to the concept of neurochemical shifts as a person could get over two thousand years ago. Those who are familiar with esoteric sexual advice know that most of it focuses on loss of semen as the issue. Yet Lao Tzu understood that there was something less obvious affecting us-and nowhere does he say the problem is limited to men.

Unfortunately by the time I read his book I had already found out the hard way that orgasm causes a hangover for women, too. The hangover can show up as pronounced mood swings and irritability - days after an encounter. Above all it creates a sense of "lack," in both men and women. It feels like our needs are not being met, or like our relationship is a burden.

Projection of this subtle sense of lack, or uneasiness, is what separates lovers. And the way around it - as Lao Tzu stated - is to avoid triggering it. He advises us to go beyond our "obsession with seeds and eggs," and make love differently. He says that, "Where ordinary intercourse is effortful, angelic cultivation is calm, relaxed, quiet and natural...."

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