The Power of Yin

"Since I heard your talk, I've sent your newsletter to several prospective girlfriends...just to test the water. None of them are too thrilled," said a discouraged male friend.

Alas, the prediction of J. William Lloyd in The Karezza Method has not yet come to pass. Early last century he assured readers that as the Women's Movement grew, Karezza (controlled intercourse) would come into its own:

The more frequently [orgasm] is employed, the more love dies, romance evaporates, and a mere sexuality, a matter-of-fact relation, or plain dislike, takes the place of the glamour of courtship days. …

As women learn [Karezza's] transcendent importance to their happiness and health, they will demand it and refuse all men that cannot supply that demand. That will be a force that cannot be withstood.

Woman is by birth the Queen of Love and will certainly assume her inheritance and control in her own sphere and realm.

At the moment, however, Their Majesties are mostly pursuing what Barry Long called the male model of sexual expression:

Woman has been utterly fooled by man, pathologically brainwashed. And as modern woman congratulates herself on her progress in breaking down male domination in the world, she fails to perceive that she is as firmly hooked as ever on his orgasmic sexuality and his clitoral substitute for love.

A Female Model of Sexuality

Could a man be right? Is there a more female model of sexuality for women? If so, what might this out-of-fashion ingredient have to offer that an encounter between two skilled male-style lovers doesn't?

Caught up as we are in the frenzy of "orgasm is good, and more orgasms are better," most women resist the concept of a different female sexuality. Certainly, orgasm feels as good to women as it does to men. And as long as we fool ourselves that the only cause-and-effect we need worry about in the bedroom is foreplay-and-orgasm, going for more orgasms seems like a no-brainer. (Actually, the cause-and-effect cycle for orgasm is far longer, and has lows as well as highs for both sexes.)...

I think there's some validity in Barry Long's observation, although women have largely brainwashed themselves...not realizing that they had another option. Luckily, I backed into the "female power" phenomenon indirectly - before I realized that it would change the way I made love....