Sex and Addiction
Sex has many characteristics in common with addictive behaviors. Regulated by the brain's limbic system or "primitive brain," sex is driven by the region known as the reward center. Dopamine, the craving neurochemical that impels fertilization behavior, also impels addictions to substances. This article examines how dopamine's unnerving "high/low" cycle tends to promote emotional separation between mates and increase susceptibility to addictions. It suggests an ancient, but forgotten, way of making love that appears to heal the separation urge, and soothe cravings and depression....
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Have A Laugh at the Gender Gap
Visit February's Humor Page
Letters from the Trenches
The other day a friend said she knows a couple who went to your presentation here, read the book, are following the practice, and told her it has completely changed their relationship for the better. I believe she said that it has improved the power dynamic, but I'm not sure I remember the words exactly. I am also very happy to write that my partner and I made love last night without orgasm. I felt so grateful and united. And I am now feeling grateful for all the effort and intention you put into this practice, and that it found its way into our lives. Enjoy the Miracles, C.S.
PEACE BETWEEN THE SHEETS News
Marnia will be giving a talk at Borders (270 Dairy Rd. Kahului, Maui, 808-877-6160) at noon on Saturday, February 4th. Then, from 2:30 ot 6:30, join Gary and Marnia for "Metaphysics Meets Neuroscience in the Bedroom," a candid, engaging afternoon workshop highlighting how recent neuroscience discoveries dovetail with ancient prescriptions for sacred sexuality. Learn how evolutionary biology has hard-wired men and women for passion followed by indifference, hostility, or cravings for new partners. Discover why the ancient Taoists and others recommended a less-passionate, but more heart-centered, approach to love making, and why this simple shift has major implications for mankind's ability to move toward the spiritual ideal of overcoming dual perception. There will also be time for questions and answers, and some gentle experiential exercises.
Location of workshop: The Studio Maui | 810 Haiku Road, Suite 265 | Haiku | HI | 96708 | 808-575-9390
Talks in Sydney (March 25th and April 2nd), and afternoon workshop in Byron Bay on April 8, 2006. Details coming soon.
Free "Peace" coaching!
Sex may keep stress at bay
Although scientists aren’t yet testing the benefits of intercourse without orgasm, here’s a report on a study demonstrating that the benefits of sex come from intimacy, not orgasm…and that oxytocin may explain those gains. Now scientists just need to connect the dots with the "Coolidge Effect," due to which intercourse with sexual satiation gradually leads to emotional distance.
HAVING sex before a stressful event such as public speaking could help relax you for up to a week. One international tennis star apparently liked to do it minutes before strolling on to court while a couple of Olympians both reportedly swore off the deed the night before competitions. But British psychologists now say penetrative sex with a partner before a nerve-racking event could help keep stress at bay.
...Lead researcher Stuart Brody said the effects were not attributable simply to short-term relief through orgasm but lasted for at least a week. The release of the hormone oxytocin between partners could be responsible for the calming effect, he suggested.
Professor Simon Crowe, head of neuropsychology at La Trobe University, said the findings were very exciting and important. "The physiology of sex is very complicated and one we know surprisingly little about given how much it affects our behaviour," Prof Crowe said. "But the different stress responses between penetrative sex and masturbation suggests the biology of one person affects another. It follows that the relationship between people should also make a difference and casual sex wouldn't have the same calming effect."
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Right Marital Living
For those who enjoy historical tidbits about others who wrestled with how to channel their sexual energy upward, Right Marital Living is a colorful piece with an aura of tragedy. Its author, Ida Craddock, was a Philadelphian born in 1857, heavily influenced by Theosophical Society works and other mystical writings, some of which were just appearing from the Far East in translation. ...Despite the flaws in her work, she emphasized the importance of a focus on the sacred in her work. Here are some of the more inspired excerpts from "Right Marital Living":
I speak from the standpoint of a teacher of over six years' experience, when I insist to my pupils on the importance of aspiration to the highest during the marital embrace. Many a libertine stumbles upon this possibility of suppression of the orgasm, and, with it, the suppression of the ejaculation of semen, and practises it for awhile, only to find at last that he has wrought great harm to his nervous system, and has, possibly, also enlarged his prostate gland. But the libertine seeks mainly sensual gratification, and when he prolongs the act by suppression of the orgasm, it is with the thought of increased sensual, bodily pleasure distinctly in his mind. He would be the last person to think of praying to God at that moment, or seeking to enter into harmony with Nature, or trying to turn his thoughts, during sex union, resolutely toward the Ultimate Force or the Unconscious Energy of the universe. ...
...An impression prevails among both physicians and the laity, that to exercise the organs of the love function without also at least an abortive attempt on the man's part at exercising the parental function, will be prejudicial to his nervous system, and, consequently to his health. That is, that it is dangerous to suppress the ejaculation of semen during coition. This may be true, if the act of suppression be performed merely as a means for bodily, sensual enjoyment. It is not true, however, if the mentality (which, in its turn, as we all know, governs the nervous system) be kept in a state of serenity and exaltation, so that the inner spiritual forces may be brought into play....
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