Straight or gay: is it love, or is it Chitos?
Psychologist Lisa Diamond studied women who identified themselves as non-heterosexual for ten years. She found something quite unexpected: several reported falling in love with, and developing sexual desire for, individual men in their lives. At first Dr. Diamond thought that they were either mistaken about what they were feeling, or confused about their own sexual orientation. However, she continued to listen and study. Eventually she came up with a new model to fit the facts she observed:
While the goal of sexual desire is sexual union for the purpose of reproduction, romantic love is governed by the attachment or pair-bonding system, with its goal of maintaining an enduring bond between two individuals.
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Letters from the Trenches
As a student of psychology, I appreciate your focus on wanting to help people have more harmonious relationships, and the unique understanding that more "hot sex" may not be the answer…it might even be the problem.
From a spiritual perspective, I absolutely love the idea of dropping the search for the "perfect orgasm." It seems like it can be such a trap, at times, to sell sexuality in the name of spirituality. How can sex be made spiritual without the whole endeavor becoming just another self-centered trap?
Well, it seems that you may have found a way to do it (literally!), without making sex into another self-centered pursuit (and calling it "spiritual"). With the focus on selfless giving, the result seems to be a very non-technical, down-to-earth, approach.
I've always thought of spiritual "progress" as having more to do with an organic internal process of letting go, and maturing, as opposed to a self-centered pursuit. If this is true, than the idea of dropping the search for the perfect orgasm may be right in line with "spiritual progress."
PEACE BETWEEN THE SHEETS News
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Otter Love
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