Hi, I have a couple of questions about sex during a reboot:
Doesn't real sex with a woman also cause a dopamine high? If yes, should real sex be avoided during a reboot?
In this context, I would like to know:
Is real sex with a prostitute bad during a reboot?
Is real sex with an ordinary woman bad during a reboot?
Does it make a big difference whether it is actual intercourse or oral sex or just an erotic massage?
.
My own method with this process is that my reboot is complete ONCE I have sex with a 'real' woman! From there I could maybe mention Karezza, but successful enjoyable sex with a woman who's company I enjoy is my personal goal. I hope I understand what I've read here and on YBOP correctly.
For this reason, I decided against going to an escort. I wouldn't have slept with her, just messed about. But I'd rather rely on whatever it is about me girls in the past have liked. :)
You don't need a prostitute! (I say this as someone who very nearly went to one last week)
Stay the course, let the changes happen.
Good questions. There's sex
Good questions. There's sex and there's sex. There is the passion-style lovemaking kind of sex and there is the 'bang for O' kind of sex.
I would say that the latter is more similar to masturbation. It is mostly about the dopamine high with O as the goal. The former is slower and more similar to intense cuddling. Of course there's a blend between the two when the slow lovemaking gets more intense and you get close to O. That's why Karezza keeps it to the slower style.
With that in mind, I would say the sex with a prostitute is definitely in the 'masturbation'-category. You don't visit a prostitute to make love, but to get off and have an O. So no, I would advise to avoid prostitutes.
Sex with a woman you've met can be both styles. You want to keep the horniness low, you definitely shouldn't be 'working' to reach O. If in doubt, start from intense cuddling. Personally I think oral sex is more like 'getting off', maybe her masturbating you as well. I think that's up to you to decide.
The advantage
to sex with a real person is that it releases a different cocktail of neurochemicals than masturbation to erotica. However, the differences appear to be linked to the release of the cuddle/bonding chemical, oxytocin. It tends to be released more by affectionate touch and close, trusted companionship. That said, it's often released at orgasm...but not always. No one has figured out the inconsistency, although I propose a theory here: https://my.psychologytoday.com/blog/cupids-poisoned-arrow/201111/will-or...
It's up to you, but I would guess Thebeg's analysis is accurate.
The temptation to go to a prostitute is really strong
The temptation to go to a prostitute is very strong because I really want to feel a naked woman's body again. I think I could do without real intercourse or oral sex, so an erotic massage would probably be enough. I am not the type who gets into relationships easily. Therefore, I don't know how long it will take until I can become intimate again with a woman that I love. Not knowing how long this might take makes me worried.
I totally understand
You're the boss. You have to figure out what works for you.
Experimenting
I think a lot of this "journey" will be experimenting. On the one hand, I feel like I really need this intimate human touch by a woman to get through my PMO abstinence, but on the other hand I am worried that it throws me back. However, I guess I won't know until I try.
Trial and error
is actually an excellent way to figure out many things. You integrate the lessons better, too.
Let us know how it goes.
Massages
I was thinking of getting an ayurvedic massage. I have never had one before but from what I read it is more sensual than a therapeutic massage. Maybe I will get one of those. If it doesn't give me what (I think) I need, I can still consider an erotic massage.
Let us know
what you think of it.