Well, my new relationship is going well, except that I definitely notice a decline in attraction when I orgasm. Even though we haven't had sex yet due to continued problems of ED, she has managed to cause me to ejaculate the last few nights. I haven't really discussed with her that I don't really want to ejaculate or that ejaculating may slow down my healing from ED. Previous to this recent bout, I managed 10 days without orgasm. I guess I figured I could control it, but she seems to be on a mission to "please" me in this way.
I haven't really had any desire for porn, but after ejaculating, I notice more porn flashbacks and a heightened desire to sleep with other women, even women that I find less attractive than my partner. I guess this makes sense based on everything I've read on this website, but I still find it irrational and strange that I feel this way.
My ED problem is lessening. When we first started sleeping together, I couldn't really get any kind of erection. Now I get erections at 80% or so, probably hard enough to penetrate; however, sustaining the erection is the biggest obstacle now. At first, I couldn't get it to last at all. Now it lasts for several minutes, depending on the stimulation and probably some other factors I'm not aware of. I'm still nervous that as soon as I attempt to put on a condom, the erection will disappear.
This would admittedly be easier if she and I communicated about it more. Luckily, she seems patient with me and we continue to remain affectionate in many ways. I figure we will discuss things eventually. Just having a girlfriend is a big step for me, so I've got to think about my successes as much as the challenges I'm still working on.
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Comments
great run with the P
great run with the P avoidance!
I would suggest that you bring up O avoidance with her and when you do reassure it's not for lack of attraction etc. she may just have in her head if she doesn't bring you to O then she's not good enough in some way.
good luck!
That's good advice
Unless she has very strong self-esteem, she'll be doubting her mojo. Maybe you can tell her you're really pleased with the improvements you're seeing with her in the picture, and that she can help you by just accepting your erotic attention for now (and being generous with her affection toward you), while your brain finishes its homework.
When you get erections now,
When you get erections now, do you use your hand or have your gf use her mouth/hand? Or can you just get
it naturally? Maybe you can have her use birth control and you won't need a condom.
The erections come naturally
when I'm making out with her or holding her, but that doesn't mean they stay when stimulation is heightened. They are getting better and better though. I feel close to ready for the "real thing."
In some ways, I'm more concerned with keeping up the romance and affection. I'm feeling more patient about keeping up the other thing.
Sounds good
Fact is, your penis might be a genius. Smart move letting it tell you when the time is right. Could be best for all concerned. Glad you're seeing encouraging changes. Keep us posted.
I'm really proud of you. This has been a big transformation.