Hopefully this is the correct forum for this.

I want to quit masturbation in a big way. I've been trying for several years now. I am very spiritual, and am aware of the energetic/spiritual implications. I'm most concerned with the way it saps creativity and natural sexual magnetism. The sexual magnetism runs a distant second. After reading up on various, disparate spiritual traditions such as Kaballah, that say that masturbation is the greatest possible sin, and will leave you po' broke, lonely, and consigned to lower layers of Gehenom, my desire to quit was galvanized. To no seeming effect!

Here's the problem... I have a job that necessitates isolation, and that I be on the computer all day. I must do research, so I cannot unplug from the internet. Yes, I've disabled proxies on certain sites, etc... but it comes back to the fact that when (let's call it a dragon per another post I read, but I would call it demon, but I don't want to freak anybody out) the dragon roars, I get amnesia and the desire for sexual release takes over. Computer or no computer. I just broke up with my girlfriend, and live alone, and I feel especially helpless and hopeless right now. However, I am restarting an old Kundalini yoga practice -- included in my meditation is a daily meditation for addiction that "stimulates and balances the radiance of the pituitary gland" I am on day 2. Today, I rode the knife edge, looking at porn for hours, wasting time, before I finally found an image that was so stimulating that I wasted seed. Dammit.

I need help, but I don't know how or where to get it. I have other addictions I'm battling, such as an addiction to weed, tobacco, and the occasional booze bender. I feel like this addictive impulse has mass, like a balloon, and when I squeeze it in one place, it grows larger elsewhere, e.g. manifests in different ways. I want to banish all this behavior - and I do feel however that the addiction to masturbation is the most dastardly. I feel like this is the lowest I've fallen in a long time, and I'm in a stage in my life where I'm on the precipice of some big gifts, that will be bestowed unto me as long as I'm able to beat the dragon who wants nothing more than to steal them away and consign me to sameness. Right now, I feel like I can't win. In a Kabbalistic sense, you could say I'm "steeped in the klipah". I'm willing to try anything -- would cranberry juice help for instance?

again, any and all help would be appreciated.