Home › Members' blogs › ferjcas's blog

Day 5

Mon, 2008-06-23 21:03 — ferjcas

Again I'm at day 5 of my "abstinence" program, but this time I don't think it will be the last day. Maybe tomorrow, but not today Sticking out tongue

Today I've been feeling shitty in general, just too sleepy, clumsy and a little anxious. Maybe it's the withdrawal? One thing I have found to be helpful when I'm feeling anxious is stopping for a moment, breathing calmly and thinking "Ok, anxiety... What is anxiety? Where is anxiety? Where in my body is anxiety located? What shape is it? What color is it?" It's usually a blue/green ball in my chest. "Now, anxiety, what kind of feeling is this? How is it harmful to me? Why? What is the harm that anxiety is causing me? Is there any real reason at all to be so anxious? What is the real threat or danger I am in?" I find that after doing this anxiety suddenly loses most of it's power after realizing that there is no real basis for it. After all, why could I possibly be anxious about if I'm just sitting in my living room? If somebody were pointing a gun at me...

Now it's starting to rain. Luckily, I love rain Smiling

Comments

Mon, 2008-06-23 23:28 — Marnia
Marnia's picture

Sounds good

I remember doing a similar exercise where I asked myself, "do I have enough to eat? Can I pay my bills? Then why am I worried?" It had a similar effect. Smiling

Tue, 2008-06-24 17:29 — cariad (not verified)

visualization

Hi, F,
First off you sound a lot more hopeful and confident this go round.
If you keep up with the "tomorrow might be my last day of abstinence, but not today",you will soon have a week behind you, then a month....because tomorrow never comes Eye-wink
Second, just wondering, can you tell what the blue green ball of anxiety is made of? Is it hard, is it soft? Metal, wood, energy? The reason I ask is if you get a sense of how it 'feels' materially, you may be able to send it some energy to dissolve, melt, incinerate or otherwise shrink the mass. I have had some good results doing this. Maybe you could concentrate on letting some warm heart energy----you could collect some from your community here----flow into the space and dissolve it. I offer this because you are very descriptive and seem to have a keen awareness of what is happening in your body. Folks who have that facility often respond well to visualizations.
Sending warmth and light, use it as you will.
Cariad