Let's not fight.

It's not good for any of us. It doesn't solve any problems.

Feeling angry causes stress. And stress is bad for your health.

If you start to feel angry, please take a few deep breaths. If we are talking, ask me to wait a minute while you calm down. I will wait.

Another way to calm down is to take a walk.

About the past…

There is nothing we can do to change the past. So, why should we continue to think about it or talk about it? Let's just try to do better in the future. That's all I ask from you - and from myself.

If you hold onto your resentments about the past, you will just give yourself more stress. That's not good for your health.

Let it go.

Look to the future.

About us…

If you want to get a divorce, I won't stop you.

But, what will you do after you divorce? Will you spend the rest of your life alone? Or will you try to find another husband?

I would not be surprised if you found another man and got married again. You might be happy for a few years. But how long would that marriage last?

If you criticize your new husband the way you criticize me, he is not going to be very happy. If you lose interest in sex, I guarantee he will be very unhappy and angry toward you. (Unless he is like Barry [husband of a friend, who lost interest and stopped having sex with his wife]. Is that what you want?)

I think it is very unlikely you could find another husband who is as patient and tolerant as I am.

Anyway… as long as we are still married and living in the same house together, let's try to be nice to each other, OK?

I have suggested that we sleep together, when we have the opportunity (nights when you are not working). That's ALL I'm suggesting at this time. I will do whatever I can to let you sleep when you want, as much as you want.

Let's just try it, OK? If you don't like it, you can always go back to sleeping by yourself.

I will NOT bother you to have sex. I know you don't like it right now. I would rather sleep with you without sex, than sleep by myself. So don't worry, I'm not going to bother you about that, as long as you don't like it.

Please read those articles I gave you. Some of those articles explain why people (both women and men) can fall in love and enjoy sex at first, and then gradually lose interest in sex and start wanting to leave their partners. I also bought a book by the same author that tells how to get back to the earlier, happier stage of the relationship. I hope you will read it sometime and try out the suggestions in the book. Please do it for yourself. I want you to be happy - with me, with our relationship, with your life.

Love,
CF