I am exploring the difference between discernment and judgment. Discernment, for me, is about weighing something carefully, looking at all sides, considering how it impacts me and others in my life, and, most importantly, attending to how I FEEL about it; that is how my intuition informs me. Not with my head-----with my heart.
I have finally come to embrace, after forty-seven years of trial and error, that I navigate through the world with my heart. The paths my heart leads me down may look fraught with peril to someone else, they may seem foolish, reckless, irresponsible or mad, but there has been treasure of incalculable wealth down every one of those paths, and I have learned if I trust my heart I am never, ever led astray.

Judgment, on the other hand, is an entirely different animal. Judgment, to me, is discernment with an opinion, if you will. Or discernment with arrogance, which negates the organic beauty of the discernment itself and its ability to educate and inform. I can offer my compassion and love, I can offer, as twelve step groups do, my experience, strength and hope, I can offer acceptance, encouragement and belief in another's innate ability to find their way and make the best decisions for their life, but what I cannot offer is advice in any form. If I cross the line into advising, I am making an assumption that I know what is best for someone else. I don't. I won't. I can't----because I can't ever truly be inside someone else or show up with their particular emotional and spiritual makeup or life experience.
"Calm reasoning" is a tricky thing, and is very subjective. If, for instance, my calm reasoning asserts that you are way ahead of yourself, that your plans are absurd or that you are letting your emotions cloud your judgment, I am not offering support; I am imposing my opinion and robbing you of the opportunity to have your own unique experience and learn whatever you need to from it. I am assuming that you are not capable of discernment in your own life, and that I know better than you do how you should proceed. However wise I am, I don't have the right to do that. Ever.
One of the reasons I began to post on this site was that the majority of people are willing to observe without attachment, to respond from the heart to others' challenges or celebrations, and to treat the often sensitive, naked, raw or unfamiliar things we share with respect and integrity.
I felt like this was a place where I was free to explore a new and exciting adventure with like-minded people.
That sense of freedom has been adversely impacted for me recently; in the spirit of offering the sanctuary that Marnia so carefully fosters here, I would ask myself and others to be mindful in our responses to each other. One man's calm reasoning might be another man's unsolicited advice.

Cariad