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It's gonna be a while

Lancer's picture
Wed, 2008-08-06 21:13 — Lancer

I've had a lot of time over the last two weeks to think about my own rehabilitation. I'm building internal strength back up very, very slowly. Relapsing returns you to square one, as I've learned.

That said, I have realized a return to where I was will require months. I got there in months, to return there will take just as long. I still feel compulsive behavior sitting under my surface, but I simply choose to leave it alone, and it does so. Not much progress happening. I just need more time. Unfortunately, it's not on my side. I've been very careful about where my mind wanders. I know when my mind wanders onto topics of sex that bad things can ensue. As a result, I make sure that when it does, I immediately correct. That's all I can do at this point.

Comments

Thu, 2008-08-07 03:56 — Marnia
Marnia's picture

In fact,

you're doing well. Relapses are part of recovery for most addicts. Give yourself a pat on the back. It may not take as long as you think, Lancer. You built a new pathway over the past months. Maybe it just needs dusting off.