that a friend wrote up. It's not nearly as beautiful as your writing, but this seems like a good place to stick it, in case it comforts others.

Happy fiddling (and Happy Birthday!),
Marnia

Suggestions for coping with a passion cycle:

First I note the date in my diary, and then make a note for 2 weeks later. As days tick by I notice that no matter how good my external circumstances are, I never feel able to enjoy them fully. I have exaggerated feelings of isolation, loneliness and irritability. Everyone else seems to be getting on better with their lives, making better decisions, enjoying better relationships, having more promising opportunities. I am losing out, and being taken advantage of. This occurs despite clear evidence that many good things are happening in my life.

I tend to feel vengeful, usually in a petty way. I am likely to say or do something that affects my daily relationships in a negative way. When thinking clearly, I see the mixed reality of any situation. When under the cloud, I have an ‘us versus them’ or ‘the world against me’ perspective.

I definitely have reduced willpower and am much more likely to eat foods or drink drinks that I know irritate my system, cause allergic reactions, or pile on the weight. If I do go overboard, I try not to beat up on myself. I know I can make it up when I’m back in balance.

I use a variety of techniques to help me deal with what is almost like temporary, mild insanity. I meditate, if possible, for 15-20 minutes every day. Even if it feels like nothing is happening, it does somehow help. I also go for a walk to oxygenate my brain. It helps with depression and anxiety; I feel I have some control over my life and am doing something constructive.

I journal my annoyance instead of whining to my friends, or writing long pathetic emails. Often see how unreasonable my thoughts are, or I realise that I feel justified in being annoyed—only to remember that the person behaving badly is probably under the post-orgasmic hangover too. Either way, I can let it go more easily.

When things naturally return to normal two weeks later, it’s almost like magic, as if the spell has been broken. From one day to the next, I feel much better again. I am usually pleased that I haven’t said the nasty things I thought to someone who now looks innocent through my cleared vision. My willpower returns. I feel more in control of my time and attention, and am more productive in my work. Sometimes, I feel a bit low again in the following days, but it is much milder than before, and within no time I’m back on an even keel.

If I wasn’t aware of this cycle, I am sure I would be drinking more wine to drown my sorrows, running to the doctor for anti-depressants, or getting therapy to blame my family, etc. Knowing the cycle, I can see light at the end of the tunnel and keep clear enough, for the most part, of artificial stimulants. I know when I’m genuinely feeling well, and not just perky as a result of another chemically induced dopamine hit. Life takes on more meaning.

Happy Birthday, Galilieo!! Maybe you can play your violin to the wild animal inside....Wishing you a year of blessings.
Birthday hug,
C