This is a very...right-brained site as far as organization goes. *chuckle*

As for key points, here's a synopsis of the new book, which is, in some sense a snap shot of the key ideas here:

Synopsis of Key Ideas

Mating

· Our mating behavior is driven by a very old part of the brain, which we share with all mammals.
· Unlike the rational part of our brain, it can’t “think”; it operates on impulses.
· It is the seat of our reward circuitry, which is the mechanism that governs our drives and emotions. It is where we fall in—and out of—love.
· Falling in love causes neurochemical changes in the reward circuitry. Exciting honeymoon neurochemicals normally keep us slightly addicted to our lovers for as long as two years—although they can wear off at any time. On average, they last long enough to ensure that our children have two caregivers.
· No mammals are 100% monogamous, and very few pair up for life. Changing mates improves our genes’ chances of getting copies of themselves into the future. The more diverse our children, the better the chances that one will survive changed conditions.
· Sexual satiation is a mechanism for causing mates to tire of each other. As the honeymoon neurochemistry wears off, the emotionally distancing effects of sexual satiation become more apparent.
· Neurochemical fluctuations in the reward circuitry occur after sexual satiation. They can make a mate look less “rewarding,” and we may feel that we are falling out of love—at a gut level.
· At the same time, potential novel mates appear very attractive, because we receive a neurochemical “reward” for turning our attention to them. This phenomenon—tiring of a mate with whom one sexually satiates oneself, but finding novel partners very attractive—has been observed in all mammals studied, both male and female. It is called the Coolidge Effect.
· [Substitute ILLUSTRATION: http://www.reuniting.info/images/yellow.jpg ]The neurochemical fluctuations that follow sexual satiation last for two weeks. They can cause changes in our feelings toward a mate.
· This is the “passion cycle.” It is sometimes very subtle, but it can make lovers feel unusually needy, anxious, drained or irritable.
· Due to the discomfort caused by the passion cycle, we can begin to perceive our lover—or even ongoing intimate relationships—as a source of stress. Sex, however, may still register as a great idea.
· The low part of the passion cycle can be so uncomfortable that it causes a person to seek another orgasm in order to feel better. As repeated sexual satiation causes repeated lows, the search for relief via orgasm can lead to compulsive behavior.

Bonding

· The mammalian brain also governs emotional bonding. We could not fall in love without changes in a specific part of our reward circuitry.
· This mechanism is not gender-specific. It evolved to bond us to our parents—and our children.
· The bonding mechanism operates on specific behaviors, which include eye contact, skin-to-skin contact, soothing touch, attentive listening and so forth. Anyone can use them at any time in life to strengthen bonds.
· As these behaviors decline, emotional bonds typically weaken.
· Humans rely on an adaptation of the infant-caregiver bond to form, and sustain, romantic relationships.
· The feelings that follow sexual satiation often leave us less enthusiastic about engaging in bonding behaviors. As a result, romantic bonds tend to weaken over time, so that we find novel partners attractive.
· Bonding behaviors are associated with a neurochemical called oxytocin.
· Oxytocin naturally counters stress, anxiety and depression. It also soothes cravings. It is probably the reason that close, trusted—and especially, harmonious—companionship is associated with increased longevity, faster healing, and lower rates of illness, depression and addiction.
· We can “outsmart” our mating program, keep our bonds from weakening, and gain more of the benefits of oxytocin, when we do two things:
o consciously use bonding behaviors to keep our subconscious bonding program activated, and
o avoid sexual satiation by learning to make love differently using karezza, or bonding-based sex.
· Karezza, or bonding based sex, calls for gentle intercourse (or mere sexual contact) interspersed with periods of stillness and lots of generous affection—but no orgasm.
· Karezza converts a mating behavior (intercourse) into a bonding behavior. This allows lovers to stop sending the sexual-satiation signal that triggers the Coolidge Effect, while amplifying the signals (bonding behaviors) that strengthen their emotional bond.
· Lovers often attempt to use orgasm to medicate the discomfort resulting from the dwindling rewards of close companionship and satisfying intimacy. Bonding behaviors would do a better job, due to oxytocin.
· Variations of bonding-based sex have been recorded in various spiritual and other traditions for thousands of years. Benefits include reduced cravings, improved health and greater harmony between couples.