First, what a perfect description of the compulsion: "Internet porn is like playing a video game that you are instantly good at, is always interesting, and each level is more exciting." You nailed it.

Second, you *are* having symptoms, even though you don't recognize them. Fatigue, compulsion, disgust, and desensitization to other sources of fulfillment. Those aren't part of *you* dear Josef. Those are part of the addictive cycle.

Third, there *is* greater peace of mind once you work your way through the discomfort of withdrawal. Also, the other sources of pleasure in your life, like a sense of accomplishment from learning things, and meeting new people, will become more interesting once you stop self-medicating your withdrawal discomfort with that great medicine you've chosen.

In other words, although life looks barren without that compelling pastime, you'll see it differently on the other side.

Suggestions? I don't know. It doesn't sound like you're really *sure* you want to quit yet. You have to reach a point where you know you want to. Also, I don't think you *can* get over this without giving up ejaculation at least until your libido returns to your normal libido. At that point, you may be able to incorporate sex with orgasm in your life without slipping back into the full frenzy of addiction.

In any case, you are welcome to blog your thoughts. Here are instructions: http://www.reuniting.info/resources/bloggers People find that talking to those who understand *is* helpful. Also, I would be happy to share some material from my forthcoming book, which explains the cycle you're in, in more detail in case you would find it helpful.

Wishing you the very best,
Marnia

Hey Josef,

I recently gave up an addiction to nicotine that I'd been a slave to for over half my life. I know very well that porn addiction is in a class all by itself in the world of addictions, but I thought I'd share with you what worked for me. I struggled a great deal with *wanting* to quit, despite all evidence that I could eventually DIE from the addiction. What I did, though, was make a decision to simply become more conscious of the cravings, and the effects of smoking. I paid more attention to my thoughts that had become so habitual, I had long since noticed their existence. While in the act, I made sure I was aware of exactly what I was doing, and contemplated the consequences. Most importantly, though, I recognized regularly the negative effects of what was going on in my body and mind, the shortness of breath, the post-cigarette anxiety as my body absorbed the stimulants, and the general negative feeling of being controlled by a deadly substance.

This did not make quitting easy, but it definitely helped me to find my resolve, so that I could take the first step. We absolutely do not have to wait until we have no other choice. Perhaps the material in Marnia's new book will give you more insight into the real effects that your addiction is having on you, and you, too, will grow more averse to them. It's not necessarily about willpower, as many of the addicts here can testify to.

Good luck.

for all of us.