We are collecting withdrawal symptoms in another topic, so this one is for collecting motivations. What could or did motivate you the most to stop orgasming?
Notice: I don't BELIEVE in this (either I KNOW things because of experience, or I EXPLORE things)
Logically it makes perfect sense to me so it is worth exploring it.
Don Juan teached Carlos Castaneda about the "slider" who is harvesting human consciousness, which is forming a ballon-like form around the human. (the human consciousness is outside and around the human body like a thin mantle) The slider continously eats up this shell or wrap, down to the height of the toes! And Don Juan said, the moment this ballon grows higher than the toes, the human being comes back to his natural human abilities. We'd call those abilities "super"-natural, but Don Juan just calls them naturally human. At one point of this growth the "slider" loses interest, because the human shell does not "taste good" to it anymore. The human becomes "invisible" to the slider and is unoffended further on.
This is worth being explored. Non-orgasming along with some excercises.
Every time the orgasmic-sex urge comes up now, I think of "the alien love bite" and "the breeders" now and immediatly the urge is overcome...
Here's an article about a book by one of Don Juan's pupil's for those who are interested. It doesn't mention "sliders," but it does emphasize the importance of using sex carefully, and for higher ends. http://www.reuniting.info/wisdom/rainbow_serpent_of_the_toltecs
My education about sacred sex began with the idea that "we create our own reality with our thoughts, feelings and expectations." Then, when I learned through my own experience that sex can definitely alter perception for the worse, I realized that I was being shown a powerful way to shape my experience. Life just flowed more smoothly, and I felt more "connected," when I avoided orgasm as much as possible.
Along the way, I had a few psychic friends who saw "entities," and I always wondered if they were leaving themselves open to such experiences by the way they were using their sexual energy. (I wondered that because I had heard that using drugs leaves "holes" in one's aura, making such experiences more likely.) Made perfect sense to me. Whether it's an "entity" that kicks your butt, or you draw to yourself a fight with your lover, an irrationally angry boss, unexpected car repairs, or a flu...it may be that you're still at the center of the process of attracting events and experiences.
I think of the astral plane and its denizens as the "attic" of the house we're in while physical. All of it, physical and non-physical is a sort of illusion of our shaping, and the goal seems to be to extend perception beyond house AND attic. This is what great masters are able to do...by getting really centered and expanding perception at the same time. Supposedly this gentle, soothing, centering lovemaking is a shortcut to that state.
This is an interesting thread, because it helps me see even more clearly why I've always been steered away from tantra, and its "forced performance, 'let's go for the edge of orgasm'" approach. The tantric approach seems to open you psychically from forced kundalini movement. The other is far more gentle, slow and stable. Yet it, too, clarifies expanded perception...at least by removing a lot of the drama.
I've been using porn and masturbation as a sort of meditation to escape my negative internal dialogue and depressive outlook in life. But it has become an ever increasing spiral of obsessive thoughts and behaviour that only fuels more of these negative thoughts.
This is my first day here and tomorrow will be my first non orgasmic day in my journey away from sexuality induced dopamine addiction. But it will not be the first time I tried to set foot on this path. Before my motivation have mostly been my spouses disgust for my porn and masturbation habits. And needless to say those times I failed..
This time around I'm more on a quest to discover how I can turn this amazing power within me to work to my advantage. I'm very curios about all sorts of energy work and has been dabbling a little with mostly Chi Kung but also a ever so tiny bit of yoga. As my sexual cravings(and the stimulation of them) are the one thing that gives me the strongest energetic sensations I've ever felt I was googling for a way to redirect this power to help with my chi kung when I came across this site. My first goal now is to reach the 14day mark as according to what I have read here that is some sort of a first milestone on the way out of this addiction. If I do, I think that will be the first time since age 12 or something that I have been without an orgasm for so long. I'm hoping that this will help with my chi kung practice and maybe also with my depression as I think I have masturbated myself into a dopamine depletion. I've tried alot of the techniques for redirecting sexual energy before but often end up doing old fashion masturbation instead. Maybe such techniques will be more fruitfull when the addiction has loosened its grip a bit..
I really hope I can do this, and I think I will now as I have a lot more understanding of what I'm playing with.. Thanks for this site!
It's annoying that something that provides instant relief/escape actually *increases* anxiety and restlessness over the long haul. I'm glad you figured it out. Most people don't.
Experiments are good. After all, you're only passing up some orgasms. I think the world would be a much better place if we could see men feeling powerful *from within.*
Let us know how you get on, and what changes you notice, if any. You're also enabled to blog if you like. Instructions here:http://www.reuniting.info/resources/bloggers
Thanks for the welcome Marnia
The dualities of existence can be quite bothersome at times yes. I find dualities wherever I look recently, whatever is positive often has a dark side and things considered to be bad can have some good in them also. Things are seldom just what they seem at first glance.
I think you're right about how the world could be a better place if these practices was more common among men yes. These are very powerfull urges and the ever increasing spiral of intensity can get quite a handfull for every man. I'm sure there would be less sexually motivated assaults around if we didn't let this spiral out of control, and possibly non sexual ones also.
I think I just might want to blog about this actually, I usually don't feel like blogging but I'm sure there will be stuff worth documenting along this path, thanks for the invite!
an academic list (mostly sex researchers, but they let some other interested parties "listen in"). They are quick to point out that increased porn use doesn't statistically increase sexual assaults (although porn shops are associated with increases in other kinds of crime when they move into a neighborhood).
But, quite honestly, there *are* costs to addictive porn use, even if it's true that it doesn't lead to increased sexual violence over all.
--It promotes a false sense of self-sufficiency, which drives a wedge between the sexes, because people are putting their energy into masturbation, not flirting.
--It means that porn users are not acting like their true selves a lot of the time. We know this because the experience of the men on the forum dramatically shows a change when they experiment with cutting back.
--Heavy porn use means that challenging tasks are not taken on because men are feeling too drained, apathetic, numb or anxious.
--I'm convinced it means that a lot of unnecessary (and dangerous) psychotropic drugs are purchased at great expense, and swallowed to cope with anxiety and depression that would be entirely avoided if the patients were managing their sexual desire differently.
--Another cost is that men are being given a false impression of their own libido...from such an early age (these days) that they don't have any idea what it feels like to be "out of the cycle." Then, when hyper-sexual activity (and the passing years) begin to take their toll (in ways the Taoists have always warned of where there is excessive ejaculation...), the men think they need sexual enhancement drugs to keep up their "normal" libido...which wasn't "normal" in the first place. It was inflated by the discomfort of the constant low-dopamine, which continually left them unnaturally sensitive to every dopamine-raising cue (every breast, every leg, every *hint* of an image, or person that could be sexualized as a "relief" tool).
--This brings me to another problem...not seeing women clearly. When you want relief, you see a woman differently than when you are feeling whole and well-grounded inside. For example, men who watched a lot of porn as part of an experiment changed their views about how much women like violent sex. (See trailer of funny, informative documentary here: http://www.1726entertainment.com/ The whole movie can be watched for $2.99 on Amazon.) Men at this site report fantasizing that women are beckoning to them for sex, when they are not, in fact. This common distortion means the man is on the hunt for "cues" that will offer "relief" from discomfort. That *feels* like honest-to-God horniness, but it's often just low-dopamine (leading to SURGING dopamine when a relief-related, judgment-distorting sexual cue shows up), which is a natural outcome of previous over-stimulation - as explained elsewhere on this site.
I'm tired of men feeling bad about this, feeling out of control, and not knowing what's going on. I don't like that they don't even know that they have a choice that would lead to greater equilibrium and more creativity, and more of a desire to connect with others on some basis other than the search for relief from uncomfortable horniness.
Most of all, I miss men's constructive presence in the world. I know my female friends *really need* mates who are feeling strong and certain within. It allows the women to relax into their nurturing, feminine roles. When the men are feeling unnaturally preoccupied or apathetic or irritable, the women tend to move into unhealthy roles, too. The "Super Mom" or the "Energetic Black Hole."
Enough already. I've veered a long distance from the sexual assault issue, but I did want to point out that I'm not sure that's the worst of our problems stemming from heavy porn use.
The key point is that men *can* feel better. It's within their power. And it's very beautiful to see them take back that power and reach out.
Seems I was tired last night when I answered as I obviously only previewed the post and then shut the computer down.. Will answer later, don't have it in me right now..
freedom
Ok, MY bestest motivation is this (fasten your seatbelt before reading!) :
http://www.ufos-co.de/news_artikel/htdocs/modules/news/article.php?story...
Notice: I don't BELIEVE in this (either I KNOW things because of experience, or I EXPLORE things)
Logically it makes perfect sense to me so it is worth exploring it.
Don Juan teached Carlos Castaneda about the "slider" who is harvesting human consciousness, which is forming a ballon-like form around the human. (the human consciousness is outside and around the human body like a thin mantle) The slider continously eats up this shell or wrap, down to the height of the toes! And Don Juan said, the moment this ballon grows higher than the toes, the human being comes back to his natural human abilities. We'd call those abilities "super"-natural, but Don Juan just calls them naturally human. At one point of this growth the "slider" loses interest, because the human shell does not "taste good" to it anymore. The human becomes "invisible" to the slider and is unoffended further on.
This is worth being explored. Non-orgasming along with some excercises.
Every time the orgasmic-sex urge comes up now, I think of "the alien love bite" and "the breeders" now and immediatly the urge is overcome...
Hey...whatever works
Here's an article about a book by one of Don Juan's pupil's for those who are interested. It doesn't mention "sliders," but it does emphasize the importance of using sex carefully, and for higher ends. http://www.reuniting.info/wisdom/rainbow_serpent_of_the_toltecs
My education about sacred sex began with the idea that "we create our own reality with our thoughts, feelings and expectations." Then, when I learned through my own experience that sex can definitely alter perception for the worse, I realized that I was being shown a powerful way to shape my experience. Life just flowed more smoothly, and I felt more "connected," when I avoided orgasm as much as possible.
Along the way, I had a few psychic friends who saw "entities," and I always wondered if they were leaving themselves open to such experiences by the way they were using their sexual energy. (I wondered that because I had heard that using drugs leaves "holes" in one's aura, making such experiences more likely.) Made perfect sense to me. Whether it's an "entity" that kicks your butt, or you draw to yourself a fight with your lover, an irrationally angry boss, unexpected car repairs, or a flu...it may be that you're still at the center of the process of attracting events and experiences.
I think of the astral plane and its denizens as the "attic" of the house we're in while physical. All of it, physical and non-physical is a sort of illusion of our shaping, and the goal seems to be to extend perception beyond house AND attic. This is what great masters are able to do...by getting really centered and expanding perception at the same time. Supposedly this gentle, soothing, centering lovemaking is a shortcut to that state.
This is an interesting thread, because it helps me see even more clearly why I've always been steered away from tantra, and its "forced performance, 'let's go for the edge of orgasm'" approach. The tantric approach seems to open you psychically from forced kundalini movement. The other is far more gentle, slow and stable. Yet it, too, clarifies expanded perception...at least by removing a lot of the drama.
Becoming king of my castle
I've been using porn and masturbation as a sort of meditation to escape my negative internal dialogue and depressive outlook in life. But it has become an ever increasing spiral of obsessive thoughts and behaviour that only fuels more of these negative thoughts.
This is my first day here and tomorrow will be my first non orgasmic day in my journey away from sexuality induced dopamine addiction. But it will not be the first time I tried to set foot on this path. Before my motivation have mostly been my spouses disgust for my porn and masturbation habits. And needless to say those times I failed..
This time around I'm more on a quest to discover how I can turn this amazing power within me to work to my advantage. I'm very curios about all sorts of energy work and has been dabbling a little with mostly Chi Kung but also a ever so tiny bit of yoga. As my sexual cravings(and the stimulation of them) are the one thing that gives me the strongest energetic sensations I've ever felt I was googling for a way to redirect this power to help with my chi kung when I came across this site. My first goal now is to reach the 14day mark as according to what I have read here that is some sort of a first milestone on the way out of this addiction. If I do, I think that will be the first time since age 12 or something that I have been without an orgasm for so long. I'm hoping that this will help with my chi kung practice and maybe also with my depression as I think I have masturbated myself into a dopamine depletion. I've tried alot of the techniques for redirecting sexual energy before but often end up doing old fashion masturbation instead. Maybe such techniques will be more fruitfull when the addiction has loosened its grip a bit..
I really hope I can do this, and I think I will now as I have a lot more understanding of what I'm playing with.. Thanks for this site!
Welcome
It's annoying that something that provides instant relief/escape actually *increases* anxiety and restlessness over the long haul. I'm glad you figured it out. Most people don't.
Experiments are good. After all, you're only passing up some orgasms.
I think the world would be a much better place if we could see men feeling powerful *from within.*
Let us know how you get on, and what changes you notice, if any. You're also enabled to blog if you like. Instructions here:http://www.reuniting.info/resources/bloggers
Thanks for the welcome
Thanks for the welcome Marnia
The dualities of existence can be quite bothersome at times yes. I find dualities wherever I look recently, whatever is positive often has a dark side and things considered to be bad can have some good in them also. Things are seldom just what they seem at first glance.
I think you're right about how the world could be a better place if these practices was more common among men yes. These are very powerfull urges and the ever increasing spiral of intensity can get quite a handfull for every man. I'm sure there would be less sexually motivated assaults around if we didn't let this spiral out of control, and possibly non sexual ones also.
I think I just might want to blog about this actually, I usually don't feel like blogging but I'm sure there will be stuff worth documenting along this path, thanks for the invite!
I subscribe to
an academic list (mostly sex researchers, but they let some other interested parties "listen in"). They are quick to point out that increased porn use doesn't statistically increase sexual assaults (although porn shops are associated with increases in other kinds of crime when they move into a neighborhood).
But, quite honestly, there *are* costs to addictive porn use, even if it's true that it doesn't lead to increased sexual violence over all.
--It promotes a false sense of self-sufficiency, which drives a wedge between the sexes, because people are putting their energy into masturbation, not flirting.
--It means that porn users are not acting like their true selves a lot of the time. We know this because the experience of the men on the forum dramatically shows a change when they experiment with cutting back.
--Heavy porn use means that challenging tasks are not taken on because men are feeling too drained, apathetic, numb or anxious.
--I'm convinced it means that a lot of unnecessary (and dangerous) psychotropic drugs are purchased at great expense, and swallowed to cope with anxiety and depression that would be entirely avoided if the patients were managing their sexual desire differently.
--Another cost is that men are being given a false impression of their own libido...from such an early age (these days) that they don't have any idea what it feels like to be "out of the cycle." Then, when hyper-sexual activity (and the passing years) begin to take their toll (in ways the Taoists have always warned of where there is excessive ejaculation...), the men think they need sexual enhancement drugs to keep up their "normal" libido...which wasn't "normal" in the first place. It was inflated by the discomfort of the constant low-dopamine, which continually left them unnaturally sensitive to every dopamine-raising cue (every breast, every leg, every *hint* of an image, or person that could be sexualized as a "relief" tool).
--This brings me to another problem...not seeing women clearly. When you want relief, you see a woman differently than when you are feeling whole and well-grounded inside. For example, men who watched a lot of porn as part of an experiment changed their views about how much women like violent sex. (See trailer of funny, informative documentary here: http://www.1726entertainment.com/ The whole movie can be watched for $2.99 on Amazon.) Men at this site report fantasizing that women are beckoning to them for sex, when they are not, in fact. This common distortion means the man is on the hunt for "cues" that will offer "relief" from discomfort. That *feels* like honest-to-God horniness, but it's often just low-dopamine (leading to SURGING dopamine when a relief-related, judgment-distorting sexual cue shows up), which is a natural outcome of previous over-stimulation - as explained elsewhere on this site.
I'm tired of men feeling bad about this, feeling out of control, and not knowing what's going on. I don't like that they don't even know that they have a choice that would lead to greater equilibrium and more creativity, and more of a desire to connect with others on some basis other than the search for relief from uncomfortable horniness.
Most of all, I miss men's constructive presence in the world. I know my female friends *really need* mates who are feeling strong and certain within. It allows the women to relax into their nurturing, feminine roles. When the men are feeling unnaturally preoccupied or apathetic or irritable, the women tend to move into unhealthy roles, too. The "Super Mom" or the "Energetic Black Hole."
Enough already.
I've veered a long distance from the sexual assault issue, but I did want to point out that I'm not sure that's the worst of our problems stemming from heavy porn use.
The key point is that men *can* feel better. It's within their power. And it's very beautiful to see them take back that power and reach out.
Seems I was tired last night
Seems I was tired last night when I answered as I obviously only previewed the post and then shut the computer down.. Will answer later, don't have it in me right now..
Your post was great
I just wanted to share what I learned from that academic list, because it surprised me...and then I got carried away.