My wife and I are going thru Peace between the Sheets and she is having a difficult time with the woman as the boat. Can this roal be reversed? I have written to the author but am looking for any thoughts.
I think we could answer your question better if we had more information about your situation. Is she opposed to the idea of it, or is she not sure how to do that, or...? How are things going otherwise?
vigda Things are going very well with the exercises and we are getting closer all the time. She was the instigator of going for the change and had decided that we would have no sex the old way. We have been together for more than 19 years.
Her decision to change was brought on by her deep involvement in yoga and her work with a psychotherapist regarding sexual abuse at age 8/9.
The boat analogy is her giving up control which is not what she is into. I on the other hand would look forward to that role.
very courageous. As I said privately, do what you need to do in terms of modification, and just observe the results. Careful observation will teach you more than external rules. (The "rules" of the Exchanges are just for people like me...who tend to cut corners all the time. )
One more point, I feel like we now better understand *why* the Exchanges work. If you haven't read this article, have a look: http://www.reuniting.info/wisdom/bonding_magic These bonding behaviors are the "heart" of the Exchanges. The precise recipe in them is less important.
Details
I think we could answer your question better if we had more information about your situation. Is she opposed to the idea of it, or is she not sure how to do that, or...? How are things going otherwise?
boat
vigda Things are going very well with the exercises and we are getting closer all the time. She was the instigator of going for the change and had decided that we would have no sex the old way. We have been together for more than 19 years.
Her decision to change was brought on by her deep involvement in yoga and her work with a psychotherapist regarding sexual abuse at age 8/9.
The boat analogy is her giving up control which is not what she is into. I on the other hand would look forward to that role.
I agree
It sounds like you should just do it how you can for now, because details like that may well resolve themselves later.
You both sound
very courageous. As I said privately, do what you need to do in terms of modification, and just observe the results. Careful observation will teach you more than external rules. (The "rules" of the Exchanges are just for people like me...who tend to cut corners all the time.
)
One more point, I feel like we now better understand *why* the Exchanges work. If you haven't read this article, have a look: http://www.reuniting.info/wisdom/bonding_magic These bonding behaviors are the "heart" of the Exchanges. The precise recipe in them is less important.
vigda Thanks for your
vigda Thanks for your support. Will let you know how it comes out.