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Now I am quitting for real.
Mon, 2008-11-03 09:07 — josé manuel
Hi, I was here a long time ago in an effort to stop the habit of masturbation with pornography. But I indulged. I could quit for a week but then came some days of continual frenetic masturbation until feeling depleated and exhausted. But Ive been reading. Now Im really, really scared.
I have the intuition that this continual use of pornography has been affecting my behavour, been more specific I think that these images and videos have permated my consciousness, like projecting lust with my behavour, feeded by the lust Ive been watching. Like depraved. Now I have found more information that confirms that this pornographic material creates a strong change in the bain cells, all the brain is changed by it.
Ive always know that this material is pure violence against women, I know is sick material. But I indulged because the feeling was so powerful, the sense of power, of pleasure, of domination. And that is nothing but perversion. Afer that I would delete my browsing history and continue with my day. Now Im quitting for real, starting now, punching the floor if necesary. Enough from this stuff.
Thanks for this page.
Be well.
jose
Welcome back
Your experience is not unusual. It took you a long time to train your brain to focus intently on such images, and it will take just as much consistent effort
to retrain it. So be patient, and have a look at some of the encouraging materials here: http://www.reuniting.info/resources/inspiration_sexual_addiction_recover...
Also, I have enabled you to blog, in case that will make things easier for you. Instructions here: http://www.reuniting.info/resources/bloggers
Did you see the aids developed by a fellow engineer? They may appeal to you. http://www.reuniting.info/node/1686#comment-4993 Let me know if they help, and I'll add them to the list on the porn pages.
Do your best not to dwell on guilty feelings about the shock or domination of women. The real tragedy is the temporary loss of your free will. Once you have restored that, your actual tastes will surface. They will be quite different. I promise. To see a funny, yet serious, documentary that makes this point, go here: http://www.1726entertainment.com/
Right now you're just hooked on addictive stimulation...like a gambler on a slot machine. Try not to give the substance undue weight in your struggle.
The biggest gift you can give women is getting yourself healthy...not feeling bad about the nonsense in porn.
A big hug,
Marnia
Good for you! It's not an
Good for you! It's not an easy walk but I've been told it leads to a beautifull place!!
Better and better every time!
Wake up call
Thank you for putting it that way, I need to be reminded of this, that our brain gets changed and this affects our behaviour in how we project sexual lust onto others. Yes it is harmful and scary, and I see it happening in myself. I am in the place you speak of. I want to give up but it's not as quick or easy as I wished.
Strive as much as you can, but I would advise being patient with yourself. I have given up for good a few times, if you get what I mean. The desire to be free is good. But I am finding that my freedom increases gradually, little by little. Maybe some people are able to let go of porn all of a sudden. If you can, fantastic. If you find, however, that you have a fight on your hands, you are not alone!
Use as many tools as you can. Eat healthy, exercise, sleep enough, take care of yourself emotionally. And pursue things that you love. It's not just about avoiding 'bad' things, it's about cultivating the good also. (All of this advice I need to remember also!)
Jose- we will make it to 'the other side' of freedom from addiction. Remember, the brain has plasticity- it can be re-programmed back again!
Asher.
Wise words, Asher
Now...did you dial that woman's number? As Lao Tzu says, "Great understanding means little without action."
Remember, the addiction pathway in the brain is also the pathway that signals contentment in a healthy pair bond. A lot of addiction is therefore a search for a substitute. Why not try reaching for the real thing (a pair bond)? As you *said* you would!
Keep gently reminding me
I will get the opportunity at some stage, I don't have her number I just know her from a shop where she works and she seems like a kindred spirit, in fact I just liked her as a person at first and the attraction has come only recently. There is another I could ask too, but the question is being there at the right time, and asking one of them without other staff of customers hearing us. So yes, I have the desire, just have to wait for my opportunity. Like I said, *gently* remind me!
Thanks a lot
Hi, thanks a lot, I didnt expect this support, thanks a lot.