Hi everyone, I have much to do at present but look forward to taking the time to read all of the new posts. Good to see this site is buzzing.

I feel the need to write this to keep the connection going. It's a rush but in brief, I am realizing that without some tapasya , that is, the acceptance of some physical and/or mental discomfort for the sake of advancement in life, I cannot get anywhere. For example when I wanted to get my uni degree I underwent much stress and hard work voluntarily for the sake of a higher goal. It must be the same now. In order to be 'fully' in the human realm, I must let go of the animal/hungry ghost realm mentality which is ever seeking that which is pleasureable in the moment, guided not by higher intelligence or wisdom but by instinct or desire alone. I have been wanting withdrawal to be easy but it's just not going to be. But this is even more important than getting the degree. This time my spiritual development is at stake!

I am meditating, chanting to brighten my mind and chase out the shadows that have been haunting it, eating and sleeping better. It is working, is tough sometimes but worth it, even essential. For the sake of my future. Because just as my present reality is the sum total product of everything I have ever done (including in previous lives), so am I ever planting new karmic seeds through everything I think, say and do. Just imagine what kind of future an unreformed porn slave would create for himself.
I must, and will, break free of this addiction.

Peace, everyone. Will read up on all the posts when I'm not running around like today!

Asher.

PS Marnia, before you ask, yes I have been sounding out the mutual energy attraction with my prospective goddess, will follow through on what I said...be good now and don't rush me! And I am seeing just how cute she really is now...soon my (wholesome) desire will overpower any trepidation I have in relation to asking her out. I won't be able to resist.