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| Habit to Harmony Forum |

Here's the abstract:
Lower CSF oxytocin concentrations in women with a history of childhood abuse.
Early-life disruption of the parent-child relationship, for example, in the form of abuse, neglect or loss, dramatically increases risk for psychiatric, as well as certain medical, disorders in adulthood. The neuropeptide oxytocin (OT) plays a seminal role in mediating social affiliation, attachment, social support, maternal behavior and trust, as well as protection against stress and anxiety. We therefore examined central nervous system OT activity after early-life adversity in adult women. We measured OT concentrations in cerebrospinal fluid (CSF) collected from 22 medically healthy women, aged 18-45 years, categorized into those with none-mild versus those with moderate-severe exposure to various forms of childhood abuse or neglect. Exposure to maltreatment was associated with decreased CSF OT concentrations. A particularly strong effect was identified for emotional abuse. There were inverse associations between CSF OT concentrations and the number of exposure categories, the severity and duration of the abuse and current anxiety ratings. If replicated, the association of lower adult CSF OT levels with childhood trauma might indicate that alterations in central OT function may be involved in the adverse outcomes of childhood adversity.
Heim C, Young LJ, Newport DJ, Mletzko T, Miller AH, Nemeroff CB.
Mol Psychiatry. 2008 Oct 28
1Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences, Emory University School of Medicine, WMRB, Atlanta, GA, USA.
Molecular Psychiatry advance online publication, 28 October 2008; doi:10.1038/mp.2008.112.
Very Interesting
Hi Marnia,
Thanks for posting this. I'm curious what they were considering as child abuse. They mention that emotional abuse was the most damaging to OT levels. I'm wondering what the other categories of abuse were. Was sexual abuse studied? I'm also wondering what is meant by "loss". Is this loss in the woman as a child or is it loss to her parent?
I'm interested because there was lots of loss in my mother's life when I was very young. She herself has said to me that she thinks much of my health challenges has roots in her inability to love me in childhood as much as she would have liked to have been able to do. There was also sexual and emotional abuse in my youth. I struggle with all the indicators of low OT levels with the exception of maternal behaviour which isn't really expected of men (social affiliation, attachment, social support, maternal behavior and trust, as well as protection against stress and anxiety). My mother was similar.
So I imagine that the good news is that this can be changed. I'm wondering if there are other people in this forum with experiences of childhood sexual abuse and if this approach to healing has been helpful to them?
Love ya
Arnold.
Be sure to listen
to this radio program...at least the first two parts...if you haven't yet. Yes...healing is possible...but you need about three weeks of bonding behaviors...with no one trying to "get" anything from you.“Love Is a Battlefield,” This American Life, Aug. 31, 2007, http://www.thisamericanlife.org/Radio_Episode.aspx?episode=317.
This is what lovers *could* be doing for each other. Once that deep, healing connection is made with another human being, "normal" behavior with everyone is easier. Inspiring, eh?
Thanks.
Yes, that was very interesting. I found the story of the Romanian orphan particularly touching and hopeful.
Cheers,
Arnold
the battlefield
When you said something about the "Love is a Battlefield" I can so relate.
The defense comes out when my love partner begins showing signs of affection, because that would be the only time I would be the focus of his affectionate attention. And, I knew that it was the initiation of sex. Sometimes I would ask for just the backrub or the cuddle and he would agree, but always allow his own desires to kick in and then he would try to do the foreplay thing to get me interested. I felt betrayed and therefore had no way of enjoying the experience.
And, your words:
"Yes...healing is possible...but you need about three weeks of bonding behaviors...with no one trying to "get" anything from you"
These words made me wonder how to ever find someone with that much patience to give to me. I have always been the one doing the giving. In fact, I have such an ingrained pattern of being the one to give rather than receive, that I wonder how difficult that would be to heal. I had a friend who was a counselor and in her workshops she would tell folks to allow another to touch you without you having any thougts of feeling like you needed to touch back, or guilt of feeling you must "give" anything back. I am closer to being ready for experiencing that now than at anytime in my life. But I think I would have to experience non sexual advances for a period of time and then set an agreement before taking the touching to more sexual places.
What you write about, makes perfect sense for me and I think I am more hard wired for the non-orgasmic goal oriented sexuality.
Thanks for listening.
ooops, sorry,
I think I do not know how to put the posts in the right comment. I thought I was putting a comment to Marnia about the childhood sexual abuse area.
Giraffe
This is a fine place to post
Sorry...I've been on the road, so this reply is delayed.
Actually, I think once men realize why bonding behaviors are important, apart from foreplay, they will make great pilots. We just haven't had a good language for explaining it until now.
I've enabled you to blog if you like. Welcome to the site. I'll soon match you with a Companion.
Thanks for posting
your comment, Giraffe. (I like your name).
I can relate a WHOLE lot to what you said.
You said that you were 'closer to being ready for experiencing that now than at anytime' in your life.
How do you think that you would feel in a situation like that, if you don't mind me asking? What makes you more ready now than before?
I'm just wondering.
Glad you wrote here. I resonate with a lot of what you said. That's for sure.
Daffy
More ready to receive
I am more ready to "receive" now. Maturity has its advantages when one does try to learn more about oneself with all experiences. I realize that for years I was a "giver" seeking for acceptance and love through my "giving" and being the "helper." I can love myself more now and don't feel so ashamed to ask for what I want but to not feel quilty for wanting it. After being loved with an unconditional love in the past, I know how it feels, and it feels good and I want to experience it again. By learning of this site, and reading some of the information offered here combining the ancient with the science I realized that I have not been "alive" my own self since my best friend and lover died 4 years ago. I know that I can accept someone loving me, giving to me, and that I know deep down that I want it because life is in more harmony, peace, happiness, when the circle of give and receive is better balanced. It is still scarry for me if I should find a mate to live this lifestyle and have this attitude talked about on here, and of what I call the peaceful path. Being a single woman for more than half of my adult life and having several relationships along the way as I journeyed further and further up the "healing" steps to self actualization and peace with myself. Reading lots of self help to learn about relationships, communication, and so on; having the theory but not the practical experience. I slowly have begun to open myself up to acknowledge that I do not have much practice but I have potential. Somewhere on here I read the quote "it is better to do it poorly than not do it" with the "it" being anything you want, your life, whatever.
Thanks Daffy for responding to me. I like your name, too.
I've been there, too
I was abused (sexually, physically, emotionally) as a child and young woman, too, and I know exactly what is meant by needing lots of time with JUST bonding behaviors without my husband trying to "get" anything from me. I think people who were sexually abused are extremely sensitive to signs of exploitation, like when someone is using you to turn themselves on, no matter how unintentionally. It sets off all the old signals that we used to perceive as children when we were being exploited, but were powerless to do anything about. And perhaps its those old feelings of powerlessness that are the worst of all...that the person charged with our care...our father or mother...is using us like a THING that has no feelings. And seductive behaviors are very alarming, too, even innocent ones. Its really like being between a rock and a hard place, just like it was as a lonely, neglected child...wanting attention, but not wanting to be seduced, but feeling like we have to allow the seduction just to get a little attention, and terribly anxiety provoking. If I could have when I was a child, I would have shouted "STOP...I WANT LOVE AND TENDERNESS, NOT SEDUCTION AND SEX!!!"
Oh, and yes, I'm sure my oxytocin levels have been low for most of my life because of my history.