I am a 26 years old male, single and without any pre-existing addiction.

Short story: I am addicted to masturbation while looking at porn pictures/pictures.

I posted a comment in the website in the "Collected withdrawal symptoms" post. I am reposting the comment here, since it serves well as introduction - and spares you a couple of clicks

Some background:

8 years of internet porn addiction. Basically I started as an adolescent with a 56k connection and never stopped looking at porn. I started to collect my favorite scenes on CD first (more than 50, and I was on a 56k!). When fast, unlimited internet and recordable DVDs became available, I ended up with a collection of 250 DVDs containing a religiously-catalogued selection of porn scenes from (mainly european) movies, an average of 20 to 30 scenes per DVD.. do the math.

Starting my addiction in early adolescence was the ruin of my life, because that's the period in which you begin to form your character and preferences thanks to experiences, passions, and contact with real, tangible people. Instead, I ended up being a recluse.

Never had a relationship with a woman. Having porn starlets as reference point, of course all the women I encountered on the streets or everywhere else seemed pale and unsatisfying in comparison, plus I am from a part of the world where the dominant phenotype of women is dark hair/dark eyes, which is a far cry from the blonde/green I ended up to love thanks to porn movies. That's seriously f.... up thinking.

I went from being the first of my class to the very bottom, until I dropped out for good. I ended up working on the web, making good money and having my porn one click away.

Bored? Masturbation. Angry? Masturbation. Sad? Masturbation. Stressed? Masturbation.

This was my life, and I didn't recognize it as an addiction until I had a surgical operation in my penis (circumcision) and masturbation was out of the question for at least 15 days.

On day 3, I was literally shaking and I began to connect the dots. I was addicted to masturbation, although it seemed ridicolous. After researching the topic on the web, it didn't seem so anymore. It was real stuff, supported by science.

The first thing I did was to literally destroy all my DVDs. Then I cleaned my hard disk, my bookmarks, cancelled my accounts in erotic boards and forums, deleted all the related emails. I needed to create a supportive environment.

Of course this wasn't enough. I still remembered the URLs of many websites, and I relapsed a lot of times. I never was able to resist more than 3 days. I tried, and tried, and tried...

Today, I am on day 5. This is a milestone, for me... so, I may finally be on my way out. I hope.

My symptoms are:

- Irritability
- Inability to focus ("Staring at walls syndrome")
- Mood swings
- Headaches, sometimes quite strong.
- Sense of pressure in my lower parts
- Pictures of movies/starlets popping out in my mind
- Paranoia/self-defeating thinking
- Depression
- Sense of Hopelessness ("I lost so many years of my life..")
- Fear that I will never be able to have sex because I would relapse
- Sense of alienation and disconnection from other people

This blog will serve a diary for my thoughts while I fight to overcome my personal challenges, which are quite many:

- Being more sociable - that's a major challenge, since isolation makes you lose your social skills, many of which I never really acquired in the first place since I started isolating when I was a teenager.
- Having some real sexual experiences and, eventually, a long-term girlfriend with whom I can experience a real feeling of connection
- Experience non-ejaculatory orgasm. (Will begin with experiments as soon as I get my hands on the book)
- Rediscover my creative self. Before my addiction, I was considered exceptionally creative - I made drawings, paintings, programmed computers, built things.. then, the oblivion. I guess it's true that creativity and sexual energy are strictly correlated.

That's all for today. It's Day 5 without masturbation. Next milestone: 10 days. Celebrations at Day 15. Then, we will see. I will try to post everyday before going to bed, when the day it's officially over and I can assess how it went.

Thanks for your attention!