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Samael Aun Weor
I've never heard of this man before. I skimped through the book he wrote here on this site and came across some scary and odd things.
Around the time I had my mental break down in regards to sex and sexual orientation, I was getting deep into Klippothic Magic and had a special affinity for Lilith, even wanting to get her image tattooed on me.
The way he says that people under the psychological grasp of her have an almost contempt for "normal" and "conventional" sexual practices is odd. During cyber sex, I always came across as the "do anything" kinky guy. I mean, I do dislike conventional society which is why I guess I am drawn towards the darker side of things...but deep inside, I really don't think I am bisexual. I also don't really agree with his views on Lilith, although some aspects are true. Maybe it's just not what I want to believe
Maybe I am over thinking it. I don't even know what I am saying.
Samael Aun Weor's
material *is* a bit over-the-top. On the other hand, you kinda sound that way, too.
I wish I could
not be attracted to the darkness. But maybe that's part of my journey. What we think of as 'darkness' is only dark because of guilt. It's a value judgement. Animals don't see blindly following instinct and desire as dark. But humans (usually) do. I for one am interested in the issues mentioned above.
But looking at it logically...Love as a force makes the world safer for beings, whereas selfishness does not. So living for the fulfilment of personal desire would appear to be a lower path. Love sustains the universe, self-centeredness undermines it. It has been proven that nurturing touch is as vital as milk for human babies; that without some love we cannot even grow properly. Even birds look after their offspring with a level of care and concern.
I am also confused about my duty in this life, but my present intuition is that like everyone else, I am a being of light, part of the splendour of conscious awareness that IS, and that I got myself deluded on purpose so that I could find my way out again. Unless there is a world to be enlightened from, there can be no enlightenment. So I covered my mind with the dross of delusion, so that this process of letting go could be undertaken. Let's take something back to the Infinite. The Infinite can only know limitation (and the Path to freedom) by our efforts here. It's all beautiful and as it should be.
I know
you guys will figure it out. And that you have a lot of help that you aren't fully aware of yet. Keep asking for help. It will arrive.
I think I had better add that
I have absolutely no scientific evidence for what I said above, it was just an attempt to express what I feel intuitively.
I don't
Mind being "attracted" to the dark side. I'd rather use the term relate. Every religion and mythology has it's dark side and I think some are born with a natural leaning towards the light and others are drawn to the dark. You can view the light of Lucifer as something that burns you, or something that illuminates.
It's a complex subject and I rather keep my beliefs to myself.
*snort*
First, scientists can't find what they're not looking for. And since Kinsey's time (and seriously distorted research...as it turns out, bless his heart) they have been persuaded that orgasm is harmless, in any quantity or intensity...and have ignored what little attention *has* arise to contradict that assumption.
Second, scientists don't *create* truth, although many of them seem to assume that they do. They just discover little bits of it, and form theories about it. That's a useful exercise.
But if you read Bill Bryson's "A Short History of Everything," you will be struck by the constant pattern of "new idea --> arrogant, condescending denial from current scientists --> realization that new idea was largely right," and then a repeat of the same pattern. You'd think they would stop being so arrogant, after having seen this pattern over and over, but many never do.