question

Submitted by Xerious on Thu, 2009-01-08 13:43
Community topics: 
porn masturbation addiction

I had some questions that i wanted to know -

Can i masturbate? (without looking at porn)
If I'm doing stuff with my wife, can i cum?

That's it. smiley

Been working too much to really do anything, smiley. I have been purposely trying to keep myself as busy as possible. Which is good though. Im getting more work done that i have in the past few months. smiley

Anyway, back to work. SAA meeting tonight. I'll tell you how it went.

Comments

Marnia's picture

Submitted by Marnia on Thu, 2009-01-08 17:29.

You can do anything you want!

If you're asking what is likely to help most in your quest to escape your porn addiction...avoiding orgasm and all cues you associate with it...is helpful.

If you make love without orgasm, you need to take a very gentle approach with lots of relaxation periods in it - and LOTS of selfless bonding behaviors. You can't just rush up to the Edge and jam on the brakes, or you'll increase your frustration. You also need to avoid goal-driven (heat 'em up) foreplay.

Review the list in this article, as well as the article itself, and you'll figure it out. http://www.reuniting.info/wisdom/bonding_magic

Submitted by hotspring on Thu, 2009-01-08 19:05.

Hello all. I just wanted to mention that I personally feel like using porn words like "cum" and "cumming" feels a little off in this forum. A few other people have used it too. Maybe calling it "orgasm" or something else that is not associated with porn would be useful in overcoming the urge to give in to it. Just a suggestion . . . .

Submitted by Xerious on Fri, 2009-01-09 14:52.

Will do. Sorry about that. smiley

Marnia's picture

Submitted by Marnia on Thu, 2009-01-08 21:19.

I love your new hands.

Submitted by Theseus on Fri, 2009-01-09 17:09.

He says somewhere that for men it should more appropriately be called, 'going' because once we have done it, the pillow looks more attractive than our partner! (That wasn't so in my case, I was always one for post-orgasmic cuddling, but apparently some people just roll over and go to sleep...).
I dont have a partner or a wife at present but since you do, Xerious, what an opportunity for you to experiment with different ways of making love. I hope no one minds me being quite graphic here, but just being inside a woman and feeling her hotness while embracing, being quite still, varying this with slow, gentle motion, is quite pleasant...(understatement!)...I once just lay there like this with a girlfriend I had and it was beautiful, without coming at all. Since you have a wife and (I assume) mutual love, this kind of thing would be even more powerful for you. (I have not had sex with someone where there was a deep connection based on total honesty and mutual trust, but do look forward to it some day).
Happy exploring. smiley