Online Damage: Porn in the 21st Century (BBC Radio Documentary)

Submitted by G8110476 on Tue, 2009-01-13 16:41
Etcetera

Hi, I'm Jerry and yesterday evening I prayed to God to help me change my life and some amazing stuff happened today. One thing was I found this site. I am a porn addict and masturbate all the time. I need to give this vicious circle up as it is killing me. I don't have much to write at the moment but the following link leads to a BBC radio 4 broadcast which was sent a few hours ago. I hope some of you will find it interesting. I've decided not to masturbate today. [ok]
Jerry

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00glc5z

Marnia's picture

Submitted by Marnia on Tue, 2009-01-13 17:23.

Feel free to start a blog if you like:
http://www.reuniting.info/resources/bloggers

Good luck. If you're determined, help will arrive from all over the place. Still, it's a tough addiction, with unexpected highs and lows during the recovery. It can take about two months to get clear.

Submitted by G8110476 on Wed, 2009-01-14 09:05.

Thanks for your reply and support Marina. I tried giving up porn about 6 months ago but it only lasted a week. I am resolute to not only giving up porn this time but to stopping masturbating. Today has been interesting and a bit topsyturby but I dumped all the pron on my pc and even though I did get an urge to masturbate I immediately focused my thinking on other subjects. I felt more positive today but that might be because I feel that I'm doing something very positive and changing my life. It is absolutely desperately important for me to continue this path. My life is in a pretty bad mess right now and I don't have a lot of time left to change. Your website is fantastic, I'm sure I wouldn't have the motivation I have gained the last few days without reading the enties of the fantastically brave members of this site. Congrats to all of them, they are fantastic. I must succeed this time, I'm running out of chances.
jerry [ying]

Submitted by G8110476 on Wed, 2009-01-14 10:16.

Just to clarify something regarding my first entry. I said 'I prayed to God'. I am not a Christian or a believer of any particular type of religion but do not in any way condone anyone who is. I do however believe in a God. Something great and all powerful.
jerry

Marnia's picture

Submitted by Marnia on Wed, 2009-01-14 10:47.

I'm glad you're already feeling the benefits. Be aware that recovery has ups and downs, and they show up quite unexpectedly. So don't "believe" those little voices that tell you the whole idea is pointless or that you are hopeless. It isn't, and you're not! smiley

Most people don't change addictions until things get really bad. It's because their "inner compass" (reward circuitry) is bleeping out false messages really loudly.

The good news is that the turnaround can occur fairly quickly, too...if you're consistent.

Thanks for making the effort!

Gary and I listened to the BBC program. It was good. We also enjoyed listening to Brits describe the raunchiest of porn in "tea party language." We Americans have obviously lost our delicacy completely.

A big hug,
Marnia

Submitted by G8110476 on Wed, 2009-01-14 16:34.

The programme didn't go far enough for my liking Marnia. They didn't mention that it was a 'drug' ...porn that is. They didn't go into masturbation ( much too heavy for the Brits). The programme presenter was far too middle-class for this sort of documentary. I'm not sure if she really understood anything. It is however almost unbelievable that viewing and downloading of hard-core SM will shortly be made illegal in the UK... WOW it'll be interesting to see what happens over that. Your site will become ever more popular in the future, you are indeed a saint Marnia. By the way I live in Norway. My second day without viewing porn and not masturbating. It is not easy but manageable. smiley
jerry

Submitted by Aphrodites Chela on Wed, 2009-01-14 13:54.

I wish you the strength and courage to see this through.
I am only 14 days sober but loving it. I have struggled with this for many of the more than 40 years that I've been jacking off. A fundamental shift has miraculously occurred. Through no will of my own (then Whose?) I now define myself, my Self, as a man who does not seek orgasm. Everything has shifted. When I have TRIED to censor myself it has always led to, not only failure, but recrimination. TRYING just hasn't worked for me. This site (thank you Marnia) has helped me find joy and love of being a new man.

Submitted by G8110476 on Wed, 2009-01-14 16:20.

for your encouraging post. My world has almost come to an end because, I now know, of internet porn and compulsive masturbation. I simply didn't realize the damage I was doing to my whole life. I congratulate you on your success and hope and pray to be as successful as you. [ying]
jerry

Marnia's picture

Submitted by Marnia on Wed, 2009-01-14 20:58.

you're doing well. Are you socializing with other people? That can help a lot.

Your kind comments are very sweet, but it is, after all, my country (USA) that is the source of most porn. It makes sense that we would therefore slam into the addiction wall first...and begin looking around for solutions first, too. It seems only fair to share anything helpful we learn. Maybe, as we get ourselves back in balance we can do more about the other pollution we're spewing out onto the planet.

I wasn't a porn addict, but I was ever so tired of my relationships splintering. As it turns out I was wearing my partners (and myself) out with too much passion. *chuckle* Little did I realize that my problem was not so different from my new friends who are trying to overcome addictions to porn. We all had our foot down too hard on the accelerator. smiley It took my husband (a recovered alcoholic) to help me realize that the key to happier lives lies in neurochemcial balance...and that sex can affect the brain in ways we don't suspect.

I'm now of the opinion that no one should be allowed loose on the planet without an instruction manual for his/her reward circuitry!

Submitted by G8110476 on Thu, 2009-01-15 04:29.

Yes, it is strange that probably the most complicated of creatures on the planet doesn't come with an instruction manual isn't it? Due to my mum being schizophrenic, I've had a difficult life with many downs and some ups, but my life has been interesting. I think that the important thing is that we do our best. The neuro-balance is, as I am now beginning to understand, incredibly important for just about everything and our future can be controlled better by adjustment and maintainance of this circuitry. My last thought before finally sleeping last night was that it was the internet which was probably the catalyst for getting me where I am and it is the internet now, through you, which is helping me out. Even after only 3 days of celibacy I feel more positive, your site certainly has a lot to do with this feeling. smiley
jerry

Marnia's picture

Submitted by Marnia on Thu, 2009-01-15 09:15.

you're a faster learner than I was. smiley