Relapse??

All relapses makes me learn. How did it feel, why did i do it ? What usually happens one week after, two weeks after ? What thoughts accured before ? What triggers can i eleimate to not go there again.

These and other questions makes me understand myself. One day at a time.

According to me, Porn is a bigger enemy then ejaculation. It creates images in the head that causes me to escape from life. It was or is my first escape route. One porn image can stay for years in my head, and it pops up whenever and create havoc in my brain. The images still resides in my system. I have seen them so many times that i would call it "brainwash", i wonder if it will ever disappear completely ?

Thanks for sharing Rick, we are all on the same roller coaster.

/ Soulsearching

is the false message of motivation ("FERTILIZATION OPPORTUNITY WITH NOVEL MATE...GO FOR IT!") that made it possible for your ancestors to stay in the procreation business. Obviously they were very successful, because you're here. No wonder you're so enthusiastic! However, the jolt is now stronger than ever, because withdrawal is very uncomfortable.

Just know that the more you view, the less control you'll have. The message escalates in intensity because your animal brain actually thinks orgasm is mere relief...rather than the beginning of a longer cycle of ups and downs.

As you know, the less you use that pathway, the less "volume" you'll hear from it...especially once your brain has a chance to reconfigure itself.

Think "porn = drug" and it may be easier.

*a big hug*

perhaps you should think about putting up an internet filter.
or perhaps surrender your laptop for a month.

as an extreme measure (and if it's feasible), you should get away from the net for a while. You could use a cellphone for email. Unfortunately porn isn't something you can throw away (unless you have it on some kind of physical media, in that case get rid of it as well) and blockers, filters and stuff like that rarely work. After a month or two you should feel better, or at least that's the theory.

How ARE you doing, aside from wanting to jump on everything? Noticing any improvements?

How do guys meet women in your part of the world? My friends seem to find sweethearts online these days. You have so many interests that I know there must be lots of goddesses around who would love to have conversation (and possibly a snuggle!) with you.

I found this on some site:

Your best bet is to visit places where you are comfortable. This could be at church functions, at bookstores, at the library, at coffee shops, or at social functions you're invited to. Just make sure that you get out of your house if you want to meet women. You can't catch a fish if you haven't got your line in the water!

Many people nowadays rely on the Internet to find a date or to land a potential relationship. There are several online dating services that can help you match your profile to that of a suitable woman. A profile usually looks at similar interests, personality traits, and backgrounds.

So, if you have checked out your local area, or, you'd rather not look there, and you're willing to travel to meet someone who might be the woman of your dreams, then an online dating service might be the way for you to go.

Now, once you've decided where to go to meet women, you'll need to know how to act. How to act, you may ask? I'm going to be my , suave male self, of course! An important word of advice: don't put on airs! Don't act like someone you're not! And, don't come on too strong! Being yourself is the best person you can be!

You'll need to be able to talk to women, that's a given. If you have trouble in this area, practice talking to someone you already know. This person can be a female neighbor, a friend, a coworker, or even a sister in law. Ask these women what subjects they are interested in. Be sure that you make eye contact, that you don't take over the conversation, and that you aren't boring or dull.

Add a little flirtation and a friendly smile, and you can use this experience for when you are out trying to meet women.

And finally, don't be in a big rush to find the right woman. Things like this come in time. No matter how hard or where you look, you may find the right woman in a place that you would least expect it!

It's normal for the masculine to seek a purpose in life. It's what gives our lives meaning (the feminine OTOH gains it from connection with others, from love). When I was young, I didn't know what I wanted to do, yet the desire for purpose was burning so hot in my head. Keep looking. If a weird guy like me could find a purpose eventually, anybody can.

I like your "divine impatience" to find your purpose. I think you will, too. You definitely have one, because we all do. I totally understand what you're saying. That purpose may be humble, or not, but all you care about is knowing it's "yours."

All I can say is, trust the process. My own experience was that, like G8, I got some much needed personality polishing *before* I got my "assignment." (Some days I wish I had gotten even *more* personality polishing! ) In other words, trust the "seemingly unrelated" lessons.

Even your current aimlessness may have a bigger purpose...like making you so frustrated that you do something you don't feel like doing...and it turns out to lead *directly* (or indirectly) to the open door to your life purpose. Ever heard of synchronicity?

In this regard, I wouldn't wait to reach out to potential mates...even though it seems pointless to you now. Trust that you will find just the right person, and that you will both be learning what you need to learn next. And that even the timing will work for both of you, should you have to leave.

If I'm right, the exchange of energy may actually shake your apathy faster than anything else. Make the experiment. You never know. Worst case, I'm wrong.