It’s been almost a month now since I ‘m’ and I’ve only viewed porn once for an hour in that same period without 'm'. My efforts have come at a price but it has been worth it. My addiction was my escape from reality and a mental painkiller. Abstaining has forced me to start to find healthier outlets for my frustration and energy. Reading, especially the blogs on the Reunited website, has been a major past-time and an important source of support and encouragement. I have no doubt that it was God’s will that I found you.
The price of my freedom from addiction has mostly manifested itself in psychological pain generated by the picture developing showing how much damage I have inflicted on myself and others for so long. But another, more physical price has had to be paid. I have a virus problem which is triggered by internally generated stress and I am suffering very badly with it right now. I anticipate that the virus will be very active until the nervous system stabilizes after the withdrawal.
The most important thing I have learned about myself these last few weeks is that I am far too cynical and my cynicism has probably been one of the main contributors to my downfall. I must reverse this immediately, it is vital for my future contentedness. I must force myself to see the positive side of life.
I have always known that I am prone to neurotic tendencies but I didn’t realize the extent. My awakening has now enabled me to scrutinize my symptoms more carefully and begin to adjust my thoughts and actions accordingly. This gives me hope of a more positive and fulfilling future. Once again a big THANK YOU to everyone on this site. :)
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Comments
Much Love to You
in your struggle....and good health soon.
Thank You
Great to hear! Keep going. Maybe the energy you've freed up that used to go into orgasm will now go toward healing the virus. I've read that redirected sexual energy has "miraculous" healing power.
Thanks for sharing
the highs and lows of recovery. This virus puzzles me. You are not the first to sustain a "detoxing" effect. Some have reported colds, for example. I wish I knew more about it...and whether there's a way to get around it. I hope that as you feel better you find something creative and satisfying to channel all that energy into.
If you get totally bored while you're waiting, we can always use your help translating an article that you find particularly helpful. You *did* say that your mother tongue is not English, right? See for example: http://www.reuniting.info/science/coolidge_effect
*a big healing hug*
Detox
I think detox is a good thing, even if the symptoms are unpleasant. Better to get those toxins out rather than store them away.
OTOH, maybe as the body adjusts, the immune system (or other systems) temporarily gets weaker because the body is too stressed? That could be it too. Anybody ever try a gentle weaning off rather than cold turkey?
detox
what do you reccommend for detox programs? I try and fast once in a while. my goal after my training is done for the big ski race (less than 2 weeks away!) is to fast one day a week, and i want to do a longer fast maybe every month or so.
do you take supplements, or have you tried the "master cleanse" ? let me know.
Detox
I've done the Dr. Schulze Incurables Program, which is similar in some ways to the master cleanse. Schulze's is a juice fast, but in the kidney cleanse portion, the lemon/maple syrup/cayenne drink is used along with herbal formulae. There's also a liver cleanse part, and you have to do a bowel cleanse foundation or else all the toxins released might not be able to be eliminated. The bowel must be moving 2-4 times per day.
Now days, I just make sure the bowel is working good and do hydrotherapy (also done in Schulze's cleanses along with all kinds of other stuff). Hydrotherapy is good because it's pretty much free. Just a hot bath, basically. I do a half-bath (just lower body in the water... based on a Japanese healing practice called Hie-Tori), because this lets you stay in longer without stress. Then a short full bath, followed by a cold shower. (Start with cool and work up to colder and colder. Eventually the water can be full cold without discomfort!) Schulze says to alternate hot and cold water seven times for a minute each. The heat expands your bodily tissues, the cold contracts it, creating a wringing effect to really get the blood and lympth moving.
When I used to receive Zen Bodytherapy (like Rolfing), they had us take a Detox Bath after each session (and took them themselves every night due to the toxins picked up from their clients). It's just a hot bath with 1/2 to 1 cup each of baking soda, epsom salts, and sea salt (kosher salt also okay). Another cheap but effective detox.
A friend of mine just recommended Niacin Flushing, which I'm going to try too, since Niacin is very cheap. (Get the "nicotinic acid" kind, not "niacinamide" and not time-release. See: http://www.healingdaily.com/detoxification-diet/niacin.htm (and don't freak out about the Scientology there!))
Schulze is expensive but worth it. I did his shorter cleanses, but since I wasn't that sensitive back then, I didn't notice much. Even my crude self, however, had a profound healing experience from the month-long Incurables Program. If you're brave, try the Cold-Sheet Treatment! I did four of those babies. Powerful!
Trust me,
many have tried gradual weaning, and it almost never works. I finally accepted that once some of the guys here made it out of the porn loop by avoiding masturbation and porn entirely for a couple of months. THEN I learned that the 12-step programs often encourage the same thing.
Maybe it would work in those of you *not* hooked on porn. However, I suspect most experience some "slips" along the way, so even by trying to be consistent, many are taking a gradual approach in reaching for the balance that works best for them.
Cold Turkey
Good to know... Well, maybe in the community we start, research can be done and eventually homeopathic or Chinese medicine can get involved to ease detox symptoms and maximize effectiveness. Sorry, I'm just a dreamer, but wouldn't it be grand? Small village, just like out of the Tao Te Ching, with a resident sage. LOL. All right here in the high desert outside of Cresone! I have a friend here thinking of buying a plot of land 50'x100' for a few hundred dollars. She needs others to buy eight more plots in order to put in a well and have a garden. The wheels and gears began turning in my head... few hundred dollars? Sounds too good to be true...