"Feel good" activities for singles

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Submitted by Marnia on Wed, 2009-02-11 13:04
What if I'm without a partner?

If you are aching because you don't have a partner, try some of these things to ease your discomfort while you're waiting. Many have been found by researchers to increase oxytocin, and /or speed the growth of new brain cells (which seems to protect against/reverse depression). Oxytocin is a hormone that eases cravings and withdrawal symptoms. It gives a nice warm feeling of connection. It also registers as soothing, even if the feeling is less intense than the neurochemical "reward" of orgasm. (However, oxytocin doesn't produce a hangover.)

· partner yoga (many classes accept singles, who pair up at class),
· tango lessons,
· craniosacral therapy (http://www.reuniting.info/node/2038#comment-7097),
· voluntary exercise, whether vigorous, or just walking or stretching
· harmonious social interactions and companionship
· support group meetings (http://www.reuniting.info/node/2056#comment-7207),
· voluntary generosity,
· caring for pets (even "loaners." Go to your local animal shelter and take a Death Row inmate out for a couple of hours.),
· inspiring scenery, pleasant smells (pine forest, bread baking),(http://www.reuniting.info/node/3852)
· play or sing music,
· listen to inspiring or calming music,
· daily mindfulness or meditation training,
· warm, supportive touch, therapeutic massage,
· yoga and stretching,
· doing something thoughtful for someone else, even sending others healing or supportive thoughts
· play with a child, with lots of contact

These activities also help regulate mood:

· vigorous exercise
· learn a new skill, such as a new language or juggling

Above all, take steps to connect with others, and especially potential partners!

Submitted by Tantra11 on Wed, 2009-02-11 23:04.

What about doing something constructive... you know, like how Napoleon Hill says that the sex drive can be channelled into creative outlets?

Also, what about prayer or something else spiritual or religious? This is from my theory about how connection with the divine is the highest form of oxytocin/bonding behavior.

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Submitted by Marnia on Wed, 2009-02-11 23:11.

Hopefully others will continue to add to this list.

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Submitted by Marnia on Sun, 2009-12-27 16:30.

Someone suggested this:

I found good distraction for when urges and cravings hit. Logic puzzles. They are along the lines of crossword puzzles. I just like these much better. I had not heard of them until a little over a week ago when someone at work showed me one. They also help keep your mind active. I recommend them to anyone looking for something to focus on for 15 minutes or more to get their mind off of cravings.

Submitted by Rachel on Tue, 2010-05-04 13:28.

Yep, going out to the pasture and taking a big whiff of one of my two mares' necks gives me a HUGE oxytocin boost! Don't think I could live a day without it~

rediscovered

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Submitted by Marnia on Tue, 2010-05-04 15:29.

you hinted at the "H" word. I love horses. If you see anyone lurking....could be me. smiley

Submitted by Rachel on Tue, 2010-05-04 17:23.

smiley.gif" alt="smiley"/>, the "H" disease can be contracted at a very young age (and mostly affects young girls) and there is apparently no cure for it... smiley

rediscovered

Submitted by Rockhardington on Tue, 2010-05-04 20:25.

Its amazing how much other stuff I do with my mind rather than looking at porn now. Porn takes up so much time, Id rather compulsively do logic puzzles or look at news articles than look at porn. What a difference.

Courage is knowing what not to fear.
-Plato

Submitted by Satz on Tue, 2010-07-06 08:58.

This is a great point. When you give someone something unconditionally it gives a unique and strange satisfaction.

In our country there used to be monks , who would wander and go for alms. And the virtue of the giver is said to be enhanced by giving alms to a monk.

The simple fact is you feel immensely happy when you give without expecting anything in return.

I do a simple prayer at night before I sleep in which I just bring to my mind various people around me: my neighbour, my boss, my friends, someone whom I met today (may be a stranger) and say that may they all be happy and peaceful. This fills me with great peace and joy.

There was a saint called Kabir in our country who said.

" By striving for the peace of others we attain peace ourselves".

I find a lot of people doing this in this website.

Love , light and peace.

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Submitted by Marnia on Wed, 2010-07-07 12:24.

very true. We do receive by giving, and this is true even at a neurochemical level.

Submitted by Consciousness on Tue, 2010-07-06 20:14.

Partner dancing..... ever notice how couples who dance together can't get enough of each other? It essentially incorporates the essence of Marina's daily exchanges into a sensual experience on the dance floor.

There is one specific dance that is unlike any other.... that unlocks the heart and soothes the soul.... (it is much more potent than ballroom or salsa) Known as the most passionate of all dances.... it involves a deep connection to each other and to the music, touch and appreciation for each other are all a natural part of it... You will know if you have embarked on the journey and found it, or rather, let IT find you smiley

There are many stages of hobbies a person can have. Males/females may first work on their bodies and minds via weight training, running and sports. Some pick up a brush, read, volunteer, take a quiet walk or meditate. These are all nice, solitary activities that briefly calm the mind, but very much leave the soul and heart wanting for more. One often doesn't realize what they're missing until they experience it, much like Karezza.

I never thought I'd be dancing with such fervent passion. Yet, looking back, all the other activities set the foundation for a healthy understanding of myself and how to enjoy being with a dance partner, upon entering into the dance.

And I can confirm that it keeps me going back for more.... the body, mind, soul and heart are united and melt into the music. And it's easy to tell when the music calls for us... and you can never go back....

Submitted by FreakyFred on Sat, 2011-09-10 20:45.

I play a dancing game with my girlfriend called Just Dance 2 on the Wii, and I have such horrible physical coordination that I always manage to make her laugh while watching me mess up moves. We have fun though, and it does help us both burn off a lot of energy (though I always seem to get exhausted before she does... she's hiding a bottomless pit of energy somewhere, I swear).

Today, I finally took her up on her dare of going with her to her Zumba class at a gym. So me, a goofy-looking guy totally out of his element in a room packed with mostly twenty-something ladies and soccer moms, danced around like crazy (and botched a lot of moves toward the end). She was right that everyone was too busy paying attention to the instructor to laugh at me, but I saw her (and her alone) occasionally looking at me with this restrained smirk. smiley

"Hello new friend, my name is Fred! The words you hear are in my head.
I say, I said, my name is Fred! And I've been... very nauuughtyyy..."

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Submitted by Marnia on Sat, 2011-09-10 22:56.

of Zumba.

Submitted by freedom on Sun, 2011-09-11 02:58.

Zumba is interesting to try, even if just for the experience of being the only guy there. Couples dancing of some kind seems more fulfilling to me.

Submitted by Rachel on Sun, 2011-09-11 06:30.

Zumba is so physically challenging~~I'm proud of you, FF! I love that you will go ahead and do things that you don't already excel at (and I feel certain your girlfriend loves that about you, too).

You two sound like you are having a really fun time together!

Rachel

~Be present when you are with people. Breathe deeply and listen not only with your ears but more importantly with your heart~~

Submitted by TheZone on Mon, 2010-07-26 18:47.

what kind of dancing is this?

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Submitted by Marnia on Mon, 2010-07-26 21:27.

Tango, salsa, ballroom, etc. Try it! smiley

Submitted by Dano_Clarke on Mon, 2010-07-26 21:39.

Coming to reuniting.info and writing stuff! That's what I do, whatever your heart desires, write it out.

I journal a lot too. If I didn't keep a journal there's probably no way I would have thought to look for this kind of info.

Submitted by oromariposa06 on Sat, 2011-09-10 15:50.

smiley I listen to music, read a good book and exercise 3 times a week, or watch a very funny stand up routine or movie. Laughter seems to really have a good effect on the brain. I guess what they say that "Laughter is the Best Medicine" is true.

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Submitted by Marnia on Sat, 2011-09-10 19:28.

I've added your tip to YBOP.