A Hug, a Hug, I need a Hug!

Last month, I was walking through the park and saw many families and friends enjoying the ease of a sunny afternoon. The picnic tables were scattered beneath the spreading arms of a stand of oak trees. Food was sizzling on the grills. There was laughter. Children ran rampant. I noticed one boy who was just slightly larger than the rest in his group getting a little rough with one of the other boys. Soon they were rolling on the grass in an all-out fight. An adult saw the conflict and broke them apart.

"We were just playing," the boys told her.

"That didn't look like playing to me. Now be good!" She turned back to her friends and the boys wandered down to the river to splash in the water.

How quickly we turn our peace into anger. At times, it seems that we live in an ocean of chaos and conflict. I asked myself, "What contribution do I make to the confusion? Am I adding a measure of peace to my world, or piling new fuel on the old flames of turmoil?"

Most people, when approached in the right way, have an easy capacity for generosity and love. We all have needs, many of which are not sufficiently met. Are you getting the amount of love you require to feel secure? This is one of our basic human needs and yet so many of us are lacking in this primal ingredient for happiness. There is a secret to be told here: Love begets love. Next time you feel yourself being pulled into a conflict, extend the true hand of love and friendship instead of a rebuttal, and see what happens. If you are already doing this, then I give you my heart-felt thanks. A friend of mine from years ago would bake a chocolate cake and give it to a person if they had had an argument or conflict. What could they say after receiving a cake? The contention would evaporate.

Since being loved is one of our basic sources of security, most people can easily give up their anger and hatred in a greater desire to feel loved. If we offer peace in times of chaos, it will be felt, and even sought after as an island of solace amid the storms of contention. Laugh at ridicule. Smile at malice. Show the world that you can be at peace even when looking into the jaws of discontent.

A young boy is angry with his sister and raises a hand to strike her. Mother calls out, "Don't you dare!" He puts his hand down and looks over at Mother with expectations of a scolding. But, she only shares her peace with him. No lesson is given, only the example of inner peace. Yes, the boy is still angry at his sister, raging mad! But from his mother's example, he has learned to ask for a better solution to his passionate anger than to hit or scream or argue. He says to Mother, "A hug, a hug, I need a hug!" She pulls him into an embrace, sharing existence for a moment of time together. Hugging connects us with our inner tension in a way that teaches us to release that tension as we surrender to the stronger vibration of love.

The sooner we can abandon our negativity, the sooner we can experience the benefits of a quiet mind. As we begin to recognize irritation before acting on it, and react with love instead of conflict, peace will begin to fill our world and the lives of those around us. Respond to anger with compassion, pay back malice with kindness, wear a smile in the face of discontent. Love begets love.