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Karezza Update

Wed, 2009-09-02 12:43 — neil

Instead of having intercourse last night, I asked if we could spend some time talking about what our feelings are with our new lifestyle.....

No issues on the wife's part. She really loves it! She does not miss orgasm and has no desire to have any more. I asked about that, as she had extremely powerful orgasms in the past. For me, they were quite fun to participate in and watch! I asked how she could be so powerfully orgasmic, but not want them any more. She said they left her wiped out for days afterwards! I never knew that. She said orgasm is just not worth it for her......

As for me, I have not had an orgasm for two months now, and only one in the past three. No issues here either. The one I had back in July was quite aggravating. It came on quickly and unexpectedly. I am not being hard on myself for having it, it will happen occasionally, I am sure, but it was far from pleasant. I was quite aggravated actually as it brought an end to the fun and was messy and all that..... The longer I go, the less I miss orgasm and the less I want to have one as well. I love the feeling of becoming minimally aroused and having it gently taper off towards the end of the session, to be replaced by an inner calming.

We cuddle and kiss nightly. We have moved on from scheduling intercourse to me simply asking if she would like to connect. I only do this when it feels right at the time. Some nights I think we are just not with it and simple hugging and caressing seems more appropriate.

We both agree this has been wonderful for our marriage!

Comments

Wed, 2009-09-02 15:25 — Marnia
Marnia's picture

Thanks Neil

Interesting the confessions that creep out once the old paradigm is out of the way, eh? I often share the comment of a chiropractor who once said, "I wish I could learn to make love without orgasm. It completely wipes me out for the whole next day...and my wife doesn't always feel like waiting on me hand and foot!"

Personally, I didn't ever feel anything as extreme. My biggest symptom is growing anxiety...during week 2...when I tend to overreact to things and become very judgmental. Ugh. It took me a long time to make the connection to orgasm...unfortunately for my partners during my learning curve. *chuckle*

Anyway, your wife's comment must make you see your past in a new light. No wonder she wasn't "meeting your needs." No wonder you made the choices you did. How fortunate that addiction led you to an open mind and a new approach.

Just shows how innocent we all are, considering what we're trying to cope with in our intimate relationships. It also shows that the best path isn't necessarily the shortest or easiest path, eh?

Thu, 2009-09-03 01:14 — neil

How True

I always wondered how the sex could be so hot, but she wanted so little of it! I always wondered why she was the one falling to sleep immediately after sex and I was the one wanting to talk! I just thought we were odd. Little did I know that the longer I went to give her more orgasms, the more I was wiping her out physically. I also would become so numb that I could not orgasm, so I was wide awake (and sweaty) and ready to talk and she would just pass out! Ironically, it was the non orgasmic sex that I had enjoyed so much that made this whole Karezza thing so palatable for me. I already knew you could have good sex without the orgasm.

Of course, me trying to throw kinky sex into the mix to make it interesting did not help. I never did get the concept that just because I was comfortable with something did not make it so for everyone else. What a mess.....

Anyway, things are working out! We are in love, we are affectionate, and it is wonderful! My wife is very content. I am learning to be so.