2 weeks - Keep Clawing

Submitted by JaylBreak on Sat, 2009-10-31 08:57
Community topics: 
recovery

It's been 2 weeks I've been clean - hands off. It's been a tough 2 weeks but it's also been easy. I was out of town and around family for much of it so there weren't very many moments when I was alone. Now I'm back to my normal lifestyle again, so I'm going to work hard to keep the momentum going. It's been a tough morning but I'm still under control. I do feel more balanced and I feel the emotions rushing around inside of me. I feel happy, I feel sad, I feel lonely, I feel confident - the deep desire for a relationship has come storming back. I logged on to a dating site this morning and hoping I get some responses soon.

I want to be able to keep gong for at least 1 more week. I think the turning point will arrive at 3-4 weeks (from previous experience). It was at the 3-4 week point when a relationship opportunity came my way last time so I'm sowing the seeds now. You would think I would be more excited but I really just want the next 1-2 weeks to go by. I really need the feminine touch, a cuddle buddy and someone I can really bond with. I guess I'll keep clawing until then...

Comments

Submitted by Crow on Sat, 2009-10-31 09:06.

Dear JaylBreak,

You are going strong at 2 weeks.....way to be. Let this keep you pushing forward.

I wonder what 4 weeks will feel like?

you have had some good distraction and now comes the time for the real practice.

Excercise, eat well, get out of the head.

I am talking to myself as much as I am writing to you.

Thanks for sharing,
Crow

Submitted by JaylBreak on Sat, 2009-10-31 09:19.

Lol... I like that advice - "Excercise, eat well, get out of the head." I nearly ate a bag of chips before I wrote my post and thought - "nope, that's only going to spike up my dopamine" so I decided not to.

I found after about 3-4 weeks, the cravings got a lot less intense and easier to deal with. I found a new confidence and was focused on finding a relationship, even though it felt forced sometimes. I didn't have to worry about the addiction anymore and my social life took off on it's own. I had more fun with friends and enjoyed chasing goddesses. And then out of no where, an intense craving struck and I got pulled back into the cycle. I'll be watching for that odd craving if I make it past 4 weeks again. smiley

Thanks for your post - the reminder of what's only 1-2 weeks away lifted my spirits!

Submitted by Crow on Sat, 2009-10-31 09:29.

Yep,

I am hell bent and determined to watch out for that "out of nowhere an intense craving sent me back in the cycle" and push thru it.

I know that setbacks are a part of the process and we stumble along the way but, I need some more progress this time, gain a little more confidence.

Deep breathe,
crow

Submitted by Seeker on Sat, 2009-10-31 10:00.

first one was linked for me by someone here I would have to do some digging to find out who that was but this link goes to it.

listen to Ooh Child
http://www.lala.com/#artist/Beth_Orton

another I like is Breathe which Crows post made me think of
http://www.lala.com/#album/504684633592877811

I think the whole song will play the first time you click on them

Submitted by Crow on Sat, 2009-10-31 10:01.

Very Cool Almazrim,

Thanks a LOT for that.

Happy Halloween,
crow

Submitted by pennylane on Sat, 2009-10-31 10:26.

That was me, who originally posted this, under a different identity. I started a new account in an effort to remain a bit more anonymous this time, but so much for that, eh?

Funny that today someone refers to a comment I made that helped them, and in return, it is helping me many months down the road. I still get so overwhelmed by the healing power of music. It really hits me. Makes me wonder why I still haven't learned to play that guitar that is sitting in my closet. Oh yeah, I don't have time!

Maybe someday.

Marnia's picture

Submitted by Marnia on Sat, 2009-10-31 12:38.

I like your new image. Sure is nice to have you here again.

*big hug*