I was addicted to pornography since the age of 11; it got so bad that it affected my socialisation and studies at university. I myself am a Muslim by birth; although I'm not a traditional one and follow the Sufi spiritual path. I went to see some people and did some meditations and I was cured of masturbating over that filth. However, the desire to look at it and the images have not yet gone away. That requires continual effort on my part. I'm still a virgin and approaching my late twenties and am wondering whether all this desire is worth it. I think its best that man and woman re-unite in loving monogamy and not treat each other as lust or material objects.

I admire your courage and willingness. An addiction is an addiction. In our experience, cravings lessen substantially after about two weeks, because that's about how long the sexual addiction cycle is. To answer your specific question, yes, the images should abate, and their intensity IS related to the hangover. In my experience and my husband's, our sexual appetites tended to go into the red zone more during hangovers. I especially noticed symptoms during the second week, so you should be in the worst of it just now! Be patient...and gentle with yourself. Ask your partner for some extra TLC, and do your best to give her massages and so forth. That gives you somewhere to release all that pent-up energy safely...without setting off another cycle. It will also raise your oxytocin levels (which scientists have proven ease cravings in addicted animals).

In truth, it may be several months before you feel totally centered again. A friend once told me that when he quit smoking, the intensity of his cravings did not decrease for almost a year. What changed was their FREQUENCY. They happened at longer and longer intervals, until they passed totally. As he caught onto this pattern, it made it easier not to get discouraged. He came to realize that the cravings would pass...and that they would be gone for longer than ever before the next one, and that he was making progress, even though he did a lot of screaming and rock throwing (in a creek) when they hit.

Smoking is apparently one of the most violent addictions in intensity, so your path may be easier. As you know, my husband was able to give up alcohol using this system. It took about four months...but we had a slip or two during that time despite our very careful lovemaking, so in theory others could heal in less time if they are very consistent.

I can't say exactly what your experience will be, but I believe that this addiction will pass, if you are consistent with the practice. Just stay optimistic and realize that you are dealing with the same brain chemical patterns any addict is...except that, in a strange way, you were engaging in an inflamed version of exactly what biology designed you to do (before there were Playboy subscriptions available to overload our systems). Bummer. *smile*

You may also find a 20-year old book, "Energy & Eros" helpful. It talks about how we've all been sucked into the rapid orgasm pattern, and how it takes a bit of time and determination to unravel that. He mostly addresses it in terms of virgin women...saying it's easier for them to move toward sacred sex than their more experienced sisters who have learned bad habits. *grin* It's really the same issue you're facing.

Your experience is very helpful for others. I hope you will let me know how it goes. Meanwhile, may I post our exchange (with NO identifying information) at our new forum: http://www.reuniting.info/forum/? I'm sure others will be wrestling with this same issue.

Good luck.

Warm regards,
Marnia